Totally Random thoughts

Warning: Mostly random nonsense
(as if the rest of the blog wasnt)
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Has it been that long?

It has been almost a month since I had a REAL workout. When i got to the gym today, everyone seemed pleasantly surprised to see me again. The reception girls, health bar girl, the trainers, the masseurs, the other gym members...

...In fact the only one that didnt seem happy to see me was that diabolic little weighing scale which, i could have sworn, cringed just as i was stepping on it.

Well, the feeling's mutual. I hate you too, you lying sonovabitch.

In any case, i kept up with my normal tradition of running six kilometers on the threadmill (okay, so i walked the last two) and the regimen of weights and crunches that made me really appreciate the steambath, the jacuzzi and of course...

...The Massage...

I cant imagine why i kept postponing it. All through the month my body has been demanding release from all the stress. Well, today i pampered myself.

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, compares with a great sports massage after a full-blown workout at the gym.

...except maybe a Thai Massage...

Ah yes, now that's what you call a massage.

Before I travelled to Thailand, some drinking budddies told me the story that a traditional thai massage was done by a naked masseur without using her hands (use your imagination.)

So the first time i got to Phuket, I eagerly went to the nearest massage place for The Thai Massage. Imagine my surprise when, while happily waiting for my sexy little masseur, a gigantic shadow entered the room. I realized in horror then that the impossibly huge girl that walked in would be my introduction to the REAL Thai massage.

Apparently, the REAL Thai massage involves the masseur forcing you into advanced Yoga positions against your will, and especially against your body's better judgement, using a time-tested combination of massages, acupuncture, kickboxing, brazilian ju-jitsu and a few body slams (the rumor was partly true-- she didnt use hands that much... it was more of the elbows, knees and feet that hit me.) Compounded with the fact that the one doing this to me was 250 pounds of pure muscle and did not understand a single word of english (especially "Please Stop!") and was happily popping joints and ligaments in places unpopped before, it was a truly memorable, albeit excruciating, experience.

For those who have wrestled with an enraged gorilla for an hour and emerged bent into a pretzel, you can relate to what it felt like. Nonetheless, after the massage and the sigh of relief that the gargantuan beast has left the vicinity, I realized that it really was very soothing and that i have never been so relaxed in my life.

So i had another one the next time i was in bangkok. Was better the second time around since i knew what i would expect (and the girl was smaller too). And for roughly 300 pesos an hour, it was definitely worth it.

Conclusion -- The REAL Thai Massage should never be confused with the Thai Massage (wink, wink)

trivia- be careful of Thai Massage (wink, wink). Some realize a bit too late (and with a horrible screaming noise in the background) that the masseur is not... a woman!

Not that im against Male Masseurs... Zatoichi is my favorite masseur, hands down...

It was Dumb Luck actually. Was passing by Makati Cinema square and saw a DVD with a title i couldnt recognize or even pronounce. So being the impulsive buyer that i was, i just bought it without any hesitation. Imagine my pleasant surprise that it was being shown in Cinemanila and getting rave reviews.

Anyway, Zatoichi is an uber-cool legendary blind wandering samurai posing as a masseur. The movie is about one of his exploits, and his blindingly fast sword techniques. A typical scene would have 5-15 would be assassins ganging up on an innocent looking blind guy... and in five minutes, there would be nothing left but blood and gore. Cool.

...speaking of Blood...

I was chatting with a friend of mine who selflessly donated blood recently (Hi Sarah!!!) While she was telling me about the wonders of donating blood, I shook my head in dismay. There are two main reasons why i would most likely never ever give blood in my life.

First of all, I have a great fear of needles (its Poke-aphobia or something like that) and I actually turn pale whenever theres an impending injection or extraction. And given my crappy luck that the person doing the gruntwork of stabbing me with the needle was usually an intern on training, it usually doesnt work out well.

The worst that happened to me was around six or seven attempts with the artery (or is it vein) a mile away from the stab wounds. I heard that the acceptable figure was eight before the patient kills the intern, so i guess my intern was lucky.

Anyway, the other reason is that donating my blood would probably do more harm than good to the donor. I mean, after looking through the stuff that goes through my system, im not that surprised as to why mosquitoes keep dying around me.

So there. I will never ever ever donate blood.

...Well, except maybe if the one doing it is a pretty, voluptous nurse in a skimpy white outfit like the ones rumored in The Asian Hospital... *drool*