Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Memories of an Idiot

I was looking at the last few posts and they've been bordering to near dead-seriousness already. Before my sanity goes overboard, here goes ...

______________________

Whenever I feel like an idiot (like today), i try to recall the most idiotic moments of my life and think to myself "Boy, today could have been much worse". And so, here i am reminiscing...

...THE TOP ABSOLUTELY MOST IDIOTIC THINGS I HAVE EVER UTTERED...


...to a cute lit major:


Girl: "...right now im reading Hugo"

Me: "...Oh I love his works!"

(I knew Les Miserables was NOT Pronounced Less Miserabless)

"In fact Ley Miserabley is really one of my favorites :)"



...to a married woman:


Me: ...ey! Ur Anita Kurishima* right?

MW:...actually, its Anita Quirino now.

Me: ...so...ahhh... Why did u change your name?

MW: Duh.


*Names have been changed to pretend my innocence




...to a gorgeous freshman student council wannabe:

Girl: ...hey wait! Ive talking to you for the past hour... ARE you telling me that you are NOT a freshman??!

Me: I thought it was a good pickup line.

Little Homer Simpson Voice at the back of my brain: DOOOOPE!!!


...while ordering at the McDo counter while dripping wet after being drenched by a July Supertyphoon:

Counter Girl: "1 Hot choco. Anything else sir?"

Me: "I'll have a hot fudge sundae."

Counter girl: "..."

**gives me the most incredulous look i have ever seen on a counter girl**


...to a most honest waitress who picked up my wallet and called me up to give it back:
Me: "Thanks."

(Counts wallet's money in front of her.)

Me: "Thanks again!"

...while ordering at the Jollibee drivethru counter:

Drivethru girl: "Sir, One Champ meal, go large, One palabok fiesta, One hot fudge sundae and Peach Mango Pie... Anything else sir?"

Me: "Thats all."

DTG: "How about your drink?"

Me: "Diet Coke"

DTG: "..." **Gives me the most incredulous look i have ever seen on a drive thru girl**

Me: *sheepish voice* "...im on a diet?"


...while calling a pretty girl at her house AFTER her phone curfew:

The Sleepy Dad Answering: *Yawn* "HELLo?" *Yawn*

Let me pause at this stage. Normally, when i dial the wrong number, or when someone i dont like answers the phone, I usually have a built in excuse randomly picked from my ever dependable mental list of excuses. And here i go using one of them. Back to the story.

Me: "Uhh... is this ...Tech Support?"

The Sleepy Dad Answering: "This is tech support."

Me: *panicky voice* "Oh shit"

The Now Awake Dad Answering: "Who is this please?"

*Dial Tone*

_______________________

Which only goes to show that i am at my mentally worst whenever theres a pretty girl involved... or im just damn hungry.

I will end this public show of humiliation while you still has some respect for me...

As if there ever was... :)

Saturday, June 26, 2004

The Date

"Is this a dream?"

Thomas thought to himself as he looked around. He was alone in a large dark room with a single flickering candle providing the only light source. It was placed on top of a small dining table in the far end of the room. There were also a couple of chairs and some other furniture, but nothing seemed particularly out of the ordinary.

Except that he was walking.

Ever since the accident 5 years ago, Thomas had been a paraplegic. Before that, however, he was what media called the fastest rising basketball star in the PBA. At 22 years old, 6'7, well built and dashingly handsome, he was also the biggest crowd drawer of the league.

However, tragedy struck when in a freak highway accident, the car he was driving crashed into a speeding truck. It killed his parents and fiancee, and left him with a disfigured face, multiple burns and a broken spine. In turn, he lost his career, his millions of fans and numerous commercial endorsements.

Now, he is living solely on the scraps of his used to be numerous investments. His relatives shunned him. His manager deserted him. He was not only a cripple, but also dead broke.

"Is anyone there?" He called out as he walked towards the table.

He walked awkwardly, unused to the sensations of standing on his two feet again. Has it been five years? he thought to himself. He looked down at his two legs. Weird, he thought again. Why am I wearing a Tux?

"Welcome, Thomas." a sultry feminine voice answered. Thomas, distracted from his thoughts, looked towards the sound of the voice.

"Join me for dinner." it said again. Thomas could see the slim silhouette of the female standing behind the candle. As he neared the dining table, she made a gesture towards the chair to her right. The table, it seemed, was set for a dinner for two.

She then sat at the other chair.

"Am I dreaming? Why can I walk? Why am I dressed like this?" he asked her. Something was very wrong with this picture.

"Minor details Thomas. Please, make yourself at home. Sit down and I will tell you everything" The woman was dark haired, pale, slim, and hauntingly beautiful. He had a feeling he knew her from somewhere but couldn't remember where.

"IM sorry, I'd hate to say this but I cant remember who you are. Can you tell me your name?" he asked her as he sat down. The silverware was topnotch, the wine of excellent quality. This was someone very rich, probably one of the elitist socialites he used to cavort with. She was beautiful too. But Thomas never forgot a pretty face before.

"Ah, Thomas, how easily you forget. Can you try to remember me at least?" She flashed a smile at him, showing her perfect teeth.

Thomas shook his head.

"You are, after all, one of the few men on this world to catch my attention." she said with a smirk. "We met 15 years ago. In this same house."

"Fifteen years ago...?" he murmured. "And you mean... here?"

Thomas looked around. For some reason it DID look familiar. But fifteen years ago, he was barely into high school and definitely not yet part of the rich and famous. He shook his head again.

She softly chuckled. "Oh, so you really don't remember? Well, maybe you will during the course of the dinner." She pointed at the food. "For now, you are my date, and lets enjoy this moment. For old times sake." she raised her glass then took a sip.

Thomas was definitely confused. "I'm sorry, did anything happen between us?" If anything did happen between him and this beauty, he was sure to have remembered. Taking her example, he took a sip of the wine as well. It was superb.

"Ah, it is nice to see the color returning to your face. I haven't seen you look this good in a long time."

Thomas started at his food. The food was excellent, the best he ever had. The woman had taste.

"Its been so long since we had a chance to talk Thomas. Do you remember our conversation the last time?"

Thomas had a feeling he didn't remember it for a reason. It was a bad feeling.

"You were honest, witty and very interesting. I think I fell for you that time Thomas, didn't you know?"

He didn't. He was scrutinizing her face thoroughly now. Why was she so familiar?

"...One of the things I remembered most was a witty quote you told me." She looked deeply into his eyes now. "Something about the sting of victory...?" She was probing for a reaction.

And there was one. It hit Thomas with a jolt to the brain.

Suddenly, the image flashed before his eyes. He KNEW where he saw this place before. He KNEW when he talked with the woman in front of him. And felt cold. Everything was exactly the same as he saw before... even the face that was now in front of him.

"I see you are remembering what happened."

Yes. He was dreaming then as well. More images.

"You were twelve..." she continued.

And confined in the hospital for leukemia, Thomas added mentally. He was young, sickly and had no friends. He was a laggard in school and was the black sheep of the family. Dying of leukemia...

"You were in my dream..." he said.

"Yes. I came to you in that dream Thomas."

His mind raced. "The dream... It was you who made me well again. You made me strong. You were the one who gave me the talents I never had before." This was no ordinary human. This was a goddess of some sort, but he couldn't remember.

"Yes. Your life was shit before I came along. Not only did I make you well, I gave you a taste of power, I gave you good looks, a perfect body and skills so you could know the pleasures of life." She was beaming.

"Do you remember who I am now? You hated your life so much before I came. I gave you a chance to enjoy life"

Thomas was trying his best. He forced himself to recreate what happened before. He was in this room as before, but a lot younger then. Another jolt of memory. Yes, I was ready to die.

Too ready to die.

And then it hit him.

She wasn't a goddess.

"Yes, I AM Death."

Thomas shuddered at the realization. She continued. "You were special Thomas. You did not fear me. You even looked me in the eye and said O Death, where is thy victory. O death where is thy sting..."

Thomas was reliving the memory as she continued "You looked at me as if you didnt care if you died or not. It was the first time I saw someone as dispassionate as you. And a child at that! You didnt care whether I took you or not." The Mistress Death was looking at him intently now.

"Yes. I didn't die that night. I woke up fully healed the next morning... And then my life started to change." A thought passed thru his mind.

"Will you be giving me another shot at life like before?" Thomas suddenly blurted out. This was his chance! She came back to help him. "Please! I cannot go on living life as a penniless cripple!"

"No. I did not meet you here for that."

"Then take me now. End the suffering." Thomas pleaded.

"Before, you hated your life so much that I showed you how to live. Now that you understand life and truly want to die..." She stood up, blew him a seductive kiss and drew towards him.

Thomas flushed. He had lived his life to the fullest. There was nothing else to live for now. He was ready this time.

Death kissed him deeply, with Thomas surrendering to her passion. Then she spoke to his ear. "Touché Thomas. No one snubs my charms and gets away with it. I foresee a very very long life ahead of you."

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

The Fourth Year

My body is clamoring for change.

I feel it now-- this surge of indecision, the mixture of emotions. Fear, Anxiety and Doubt. Strength, Faith and Excitement. Again a battle between my logic, creativity...my body and my soul. I find myself giving in to the demands of each-- what else could explain the passion for work, a sudden interest for blogging, the need for the gym and this almost daily soulsearching?

I need to be perfect somehow. The Fourth Year is here once more.

Elementary, Highschool, College. Where these not but chapters in my life? Always, at the end of the chapter, I would feel the need for change. I would get bored at my current state and push myself to the absolute limit in preparation for the next part of the series.

And then the next chapter would come. And in the past two, it was especially so.

From being the poor boy in an elitist school, I was introduced to a very diverse highschool life in Pisay. It was a time i honed my logic and mathematical skills and reworked myself from being the sickly little boy to a muscular young man through various sports. It was a time when I found solace in a group, yet strength in my individuality.

Then there was college, where i learned more about the social aspects of life, about the wonders of the internet and my potential for the arts. It was here that i was prepared for the rigors of the Real World and where most of who I am really came about.

But then again, the route was planned. The map was always there with the locations clearly marked. The graduation was something to prepare for. And the next stage, though something frightfully exciting, was always to be hoped for.

After this, then this. No ifs, no buts. I have to go where the next stop should be.

Now it is different. This is the the Real World. There are no maps. There is no graduation. There should be no Fourth Year.

Yet still, I feel the Fourth Year beckoning me.

I am strangely excited of what will happen next. What will i do the next four years? Is there a new chapter I have unknowingly advanced to? Or did I unwittingly get bonked off the block in the school of hard knocks?

Did I make the most of the past four years or am i destined to repeat it? Did I pass with flying colors or did I just drift by? Did I major on my majors or did I dabble too much in the extracurricular?

Yes, Im afraid. Maybe I wasnt on the right track. Maybe I took the wrong turn somewhere. Maybe, just maybe, I messed up.

And so here I am again, awaiting an imaginary graduation. Looking forward to tomorrow, but blinded by the light of dawn. In search for a dream, for my place in this world.

But then again, why shouldnt i greet the end of the Fourth Year the same way I did the last time? Why shouldnt I shout "Carpe Diem!" and raise my fist once again? Let the new challenges come... I will sneer at hopelessness in the face and tango with the inevitable yet again.

But first, I need to find my course in life. I need to figure out where im headed and find the new maps that will show me the path to my destiny.

The Fourth Year is upon me. And I have yet to find a new dream.

To be continued...

Monday, June 21, 2004

Finally! (SoloFlite delves into the election brouhaha)

Yesssssss!!!

The good news: Somebody has won the elections... And its not that mindless messiahnic puppet FPJ!!! :)

The bad news: ...unfortunately it has to be that deviously manipulative puppeteer GMA :(

Well, I guess its the lesser of two evils...
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Funny thing. We started our elections on May 10. It's June 21 now.

India has a population of ONE BILLION. Their election results were known in THREE HOURS.

How long did it take us again?
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The US has a population of 293 million. If you were waiting for the election results via the Web, the typical refresh rate was 5 MINUTES.

Oh yeah. Try pressing F5 on the comelec site every 5 hours, and if it doesnt crash, it still would have the same thing...
_______________________

It took us FORTY DAYS to finally figure out that the exit polls were correct... Of course, this was because GMA was clearly and quite obviously railroading the elections.
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FORTY F*KIN DAYS!!!

This is what happens when a collection of buwitres and buwayas keep rockin the boat in a vain effort to keep themselves alive...

The last time something involving a boatload of animals took forty days was when God was flushing the whole world down the drain.

Deja Vu?
______________________

One good thing i like about todays news was that Ping has finally conceded.

I like what he said... "If you didnt guard your votes, then you deserve to lose."

Get that FPJ?

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Soloflite: On Driving

I could almost hear Sean Connery doing his DragonHeart line "Ie AHM The LashT One!" this morning.

I have just realized that I am alone in the driving world of Manila.

Everyone else is either a spineless fag who cant summon the bravado to do a simple u-turn in c-5 or a hotheaded bastard who cuts me every step of the way.
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Being the last good driver in manila does have its benefits you know :)

I mean, I drive so well even the MMDA acknowledges it. Modesty aside, i even think they have their own fan club for me there...

Never has a day gone by when one of our friendly neighborhood traffic cops would wave at me in the morning... Some are even so enthusiastic as to actually call their other MMDA friends so they too could catch a glimpse at me. Others would even tap on The Jaguar or try to stand in front of me with both arms wide apart to offer me a hug...

Well I'd just wave right back and drive happily past as they jump out of my way. And I'd be radiant yet again in the knowledge that some people still believe in good drivers like me...
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Well, I've been thinking. If I can do it, well, why not everyone else? So I took it upon myself to list down five of the most commonly misconceived questions about driving in Manila and what I, Soloflite, Model Driver and Citizen has found out about them.

Here they are:
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1. Are the MMDA policemen?

They are not Policemen. They are not even MEN. They are a little-known government experiment that planned to create the perfect soldier... which unfortunately, due to budget issues and funding directly from pork barrel, created the perfect predators instead.

The typical MMDA predator has such finely tuned senses that even in the blackest night can see the last digit of your platenumber from a kilometer away. They can even see you do things you would swear you never did. And there have even been reports that they can also know the difference between a 500 and a 100 peso bill based on the noise they make when you slide them under your license...

Although typically dressed in yellow, they can use their innate camouflage abilities to blend in with the surrounding areas until that last moment when they suddenly pop up in front of you and takes your license.

Beware the MMDA. They are not to be trifled with.
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2. Is it true that we need to bribe them sometimes?

Heavens no! The MMDA are above such things. However, they have also been gifted with strong empathy towards drivers that sometimes they will volunteer to do away with the hassles of ticketing, taking your license and attending driving seminars.

The acceptable answer is to tip them graciously for their commitment to their jobs, excellent public service and concern for your overall wellbeing...

Or you could just drive past them. They're too lazy to write down your plate number anyway.
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3. Do I really have to stop when the light turns red?

No. You have a grace period of 5 seconds to follow the car in front of you. This goes as well to the person behind you.

4. Do i really have to move when the light turns green?

Yes. It is even encouraged to beat the green light by a few seconds. If the idiot in front of you doesnt know this, blare your horn a few times once the light turns green.

5. Is there really such a thing as a fast lane?

Yes, there is a fast lane. At seven am it is at the Outer left lane and moves to the next one every 5 minutes:

Outer Left (7:00) --> Outer Right (7:05) --> Middle Lane (7:10) --> Outer Left (7:15)

...in that order. This is the fastest lane in manila and you should learn how to use it. Take note, this is not considered swerving as long as you are staying in the Fast Lane.
______________________

Well that's enough public service for now. Just doing my job as a role abiding citizen ;)

Friday, June 18, 2004

The Day of Wrath

Pride has been reaching almost metrosexual levels recently. And before a bolt of lightning strikes me down where i stand, i switch over now to Wrath (and a bit of envy)...

...BE WARNED...
__________________

I hate my bills

Six F*king figures.

Is that not enough reason to hate them? Why dont you just leave me alone you evil credit card companies!
__________________

I hate AmEx.

Im getting billed in dollars and their current rate is 56.65!!! This is F4%#@#!#@!king higher than than any other F$#@!$#!@%!@!king interest rates.

__________________

I hate Citibank.

They screw up on upgrading my card and YET continue to send me applications for new ones. I do not NEED another card. I want just one BIG card that I can play with.

I have enough trouble with three cards as it is.
___________________

I hate cheques.

They force me to write in my chickenscratchy sort of way. Then they call me up to be sure i wrote it because they couldnt understand a word i said.

Like hey, Isnt that verification enough? Let them call me when they DO understand what it says in the check...
_________________

Im starting to hate Jollibee

For the third time this week, i got soggy fries with my meal. Damn their viagra-deprived potatoes. And this was after i had to wait 10 minutes in the drive thru at the back of an idiot who couldnt make up his mind with his stupid order.

And yeah, they have ugly drive thru girls.
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Im starting to hate Blogspot

Today, my site was down 70% of the time... but all of my friends blogspot sites weren't!!! WTF are those assholes in blogspot doing??!! Am I the ONLY one they dont support??!!

Sure its a free site, but hey, we're customers too...

(Soloflite's note: When wrath talks, logic takes a step backwards...)
________________

Im starting to hate my Blog

Well, sort of. After today's daily war of stress killed off yet another platoon of braincells and recruited yet another battallion of cholesterol, I did some surfing around the web as a respite..

I hated what i found: People with Blogs far more interesting and aesthetically designed than mine!!! And lots of em! Better writing, better graphics, and sometimes both!

Well, its about time Pride took the backseat.
It's time for Wrath (with a little help from Envy) to drive me to blogging greatness now.

Damn i need to fix this site.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Geektime

Petals Around the Rose

A friend of mine sent me an email about a very curious game. Just follow the instructions in the website.

Petals around the Rose Game

Rumor has it that Bill Gates tried the game, but never actually figured it out. He did figure out all the answers, but only because of his photographic memory (the bastard memorized the answers for each combination) but couldnt work out how the answers came about.

Anyways...
...a lot of experts agree that the smarter your are, the longer it will take you to figure it out. (Of course, these same experts took an average of 6 days to figure out the puzzle) What they dont agree on is where exactly the thin line is between absolute genius and total moronity.

My brother tried it last friday. Til now he still hasnt figured it out. Hehehe :)
Another friend just gave up after the second night.

I tried it once and figured it out after the next try.
Does that mean im stupid? Or just damn lucky?
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Mensa Qualifying Tests coming up

Mensa will be holding a qualifying session on SATURDAY, 3 JULY 2004 at the UP Hotel, University of the Philippines, Diliman, QC.

The qualifier is a culture-fair test of the type that is often referred to as "abstract reasoning". It does NOT test for math or language skills.

You may register and START your test anytime between
9:00 A.M. and 3 P.M.

More information regarding Mensa's qualifying tests may be
found at:

qualifying test website

There are many practice tests available on the Internet. You
will find tests, puzzles and other Mensa resources at:
http://www.mensa.org.uk/mensa/global/resource.html or http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~didmsnj/MensaWorld/guide.html

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Murphy's Back!

After a two weeks straight of down out bad luck I thought i had a long enough respite.
Well, after a week of no noteworthy re enactments of Murphy's Law, I let my guard down.

Then this Weblog crashed. As in, everything just went caput!
I tell you this sort of thing doesnt happen to just anyone!!

Luckily im used to this sort of thing, and being the most paranoid person I know, i have two weblogs totally independent of each other. Got the backup from the Other Site. Whew :)

So now its up and about again although some entries will be lost forever. Thats life i guess. As the great book said, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"

____________________

Well, now that the worst (i hope) is over, i can finally put it in writing. Each day those two weeks have been extraordinarily stressful and suicide was starting to look like a nice option.

The following have happened (in no particular order) in those hellish two weeks. Some more than once:

1. The CRV spewed out noxious fumes which forced me to take the other car, the war car known as The Jaguar... which died out on me on the most expensive parking space i could have possibly have taken.

2. The Starex died on me too. For some reason, all things mechanical seem to be hating me.

3. My laptop crashed on me. Then the helpdesk sent me a laptop replacement that... guess what, crashed too.

4. My celphone crashed. This was not funny anymore.

5. The OTHER celphone crashed.

6. After i had both phones fixed, my international phonebills from Thailand got credited to my Globe and Smart accounts the same time. BOTH of them went over the credit limit and both telcos CUT my lines.

7. Meralco Workers upgrading the neighborhood powercables hit a water pipe by accident. Guess whos house was affected? Our water stank for a week, and me finding out while washing my face in the morning! Had to take a bath at the gym the whole week.

8. AmEx screwed up on its billing. They billed me an extra $300 for a plane ticket they gave me for free because they messed up on my airline bookings for my bangkok trip.

9. The AmEx person who gave me the "free" ticket resigned a week before and denied that it was free. Spent a damn morning just clearing it up.

10. Rainy season started. And the raingods would do their worst ONLY if i was walking on the way to my car. And stop once i get in. And yes, the amount of rainfall is in direct proportion to how presentable i should be for my next meeting. And of course, whenever there was a puddle in front of me, a car would splash it as i crossed it.

And i wont even go into the work-related details. Ugh. Well, lump it all within two weeks and you'd understand how shitty that time was for me.

_________________________________

I had a checkup last week and my doctor asked if anything was stressing me.
I think he backed down after i gave him the evil eye...








Saturday, June 12, 2004

DVD Review -- The Returner (2003)

Quite a find in the Makati Cinema Square DVD utopia :) Good thing my pirate friends are wisening up to the markets demands and are selling more and more of the 'specialized' DVDs instead of just the mainstream movies.

I'll probably post a lot more of the more obscure DVD finds you can get in greenhills, makati cinema and Quiapo.
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Do you like ID4? How about ET? The Matrix? Starship Troopers? Stargate? Terminator? Well, im sure you'll like The Returner as well.

In the movie, Milly (Anne Suzuki), a mysterious girl from the future, teams up with Miyamoto (Takeshi Kaneshiro) a mysterious vigilante with a long black leather coat and killer instincts, and the apothecarist, a mysterious old woman with enough ammunition in her little herb shop to arm a private army, to solve the mystery of the mysterious aliens who caused the end of humankind.

Oh, and by the way, they will be facing Mizoguchi (Goro Kishitani), Miyamoto's psychotic archrival and hordes of gun-toting aliens with forcefields, transforming ships and colossal motherships.

Cliche enough?

But then again, this movie is not about WOWing us with an original story, nor drama, and not even emotional dilemmas. It is about cool costumes, kick-ass special effects and excellent fight scenes. It is about overly abused movie-logic where the arch-nemesis of the hero turns out to be the overall antagonist of the whole movie and where ET just wants to go home.

This is Japan's answer to all the American sci-fi flicks of this generation. Yes, there are a ton of ideas, but this movie puts them all seamlessly together. And makes it sometimes better even: whereas Matrix Revolutions bored us to death with their overabuse of the bullet time concept, The Returner uses it sparingly, and only because the heroes have a nifty little gadget that can temporarily slow time.

Come to think of it, despite the number of ideas it shamelessly ripped off at least fifty other big budget hollywood sci-fi movies (who by the way, shamelessly ripped them off from lesser known smalltime japanese flicks), the only thing missing from the plot is a drop-dead gorgeous leading lady in black body-hugging leather.

Despite that despicable oversight though, id say the movie is still pretty much fun to watch, if only for the excellent action sequences and the cool graphics :)

Special effects : 10/10 (Does the word Transformers ring a bell?)
Overall Acting : 7/10
Storyline : 8/10
Babe Rating : 6/10(the leading lady's a kid, but since she looks like KC Concepcion...)
Bloodshed : 10/10 (There are basically 4 major characters... everyone else is fresh meat)
Overall : 9/10

Friday, June 11, 2004

Insomnia, Insomnia again!!

The past two weeks, for one reason or another I would always get up in the middle of the night regardless of what time I slept or how tired i was. Then i would be living in the fine line between deep sleep and that waking conscious state where you hear everything going on outside, every cricket chirp, aircon whirr and passing motorcycle.

It IS NOT sleep. And its not really waking up either. Im just lying there unable to do any physical activity.

I would keep replaying the events of the day, thinking about things i left open, strategizing for tomorrow, dreamin up stuff to write about... Until the alarm rings. Ugh.

How i wish i just had a simple on switch and shut myself down.
I dont need insomnia. I look undead enough as it already is.

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A friend of mine commented about a previous Blog post i had on the lighter side of brownouts. She asked what flavor ice cream it was, and the conversation on YM went a little something like this:

L: So whats turtle cake made of? Turtle? hahaha :)

A: Yep.


Long Pause.

L: No, seriously, why did the bakeshop call it turtle cake?

A: Its a pretty popular cake you know. Chocolate, Caramel and vanilla ice cream. I think Italian chains like Fazoli's have it on their dessert bar.

L: Ahh... so why do they call it turtle cake?

A: Please dont ask that.
(I could see where this was leading to and i didnt like it.) It'll keep me up tonight. (im start chanting the mantra now... "Dont think about it adrian, you must sleep tonight. must sleeep toniight...")

L: Is it a marketing thing? Is it just a catchy name to get new customers?

A: ...No, i dont think so. Its not something...
(I speed up the pace of the mantra... "DONT think about it adrian, YOU must sleep tonight. must sleeep toniight... Aaaaaaaaaarrrrghhh!!! Now i need to know!!!")

Well, i poured out theory after theory as to what turtle cake really is.

Did it have anything to do with some historical event involving turtles? Is it something baked to commemorate National Turtle day or some other vague historical moment?

Was there a Mr. Turtle involved?

Is that what a turtle looks after you step on it?

Was it an 80's fad along with other Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Merchandise? They were italian after all...

Dammit. Why Turtle Cake??! I mean, why not something as vague as Sylvanna, Tiramisu, or SansRival. I mean, why give a stupid name we have to think about?

Guess what?

NOBODY knows where f#@#!#kin turtle cake came from!!!


Not Google, not Yahoo, not anyone!
Now i'll never get to sleep til i find out that particular piece of trivia!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Something Worth Dying For

(note... i might have messed up some names here. will update as i learn more)

Was flippin thru the channels today and saw an interesting documentary in the Discovery Channel (Our time of War.) I think it was part of a whole series, but the focus of this particular episode was the Japanese selfless bushido-influenced attack collectively lumped as the Kamikazi. Very interesting. I think ill buy a book on it. Or a pirated copy of the series in Quiapo :)

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The word kamikazi would conjure images of the Pearl Harbor, with Japanese Zeroes killing off plane after plane and crashing into the decks of the American warships. Expensive perhaps, but terribly effective.

Apparently, theres a whole lot more to the Kamikazi strategy than that.
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When the war reached the Homeland, the Japanese were at their most desperate. First of all, the entire air defense of the Homeland was based on the intelligence reports that the Americans would strike with B17s (or other bombers around that line) which flew at a max altitude of 25000 feet. However, they were attacked by the B29 Flying Fortresses which flew much higher at 30,000 feet, out of the japanese air force range, dropping with impunity incendiary bombs which razed the key japanese cities.

Faced with the dillemma, japanese ingenuity came into play. The Divine Wind, an elite airforce group (which grew more elite by the hour) specializing in Kamikazi strikes, reengineered most of the defending air units by taking out all defenses, unnecessary components and loaded them with just enough fuel to reach their targets. This allowed them to reach the heights the american bombers flew.

They were ordered to go between the bombs and their homeland. And ram into the bombers. Terribly effective, but still not enough to stop the deadly bombing runs.

A more devious defense was the Oka-11. Whereas the previous kamikazi aircrafts were simply planes loaded with explosives, the Oka was truly designed to be a suicide unit. It had no take off and landing gear and was taken from the latest german rocket designs.

The first American sorties who would engage defenses that used Okas would be amazed as to why a bomber was deployed against them. A few moments later, the bomber would release its payload of Okas and decimate the American bomber. Simple and effective.



The Oka-11. No takeoff and landing gear. Whoever pilots this is definitely gonna die.

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They applied the same principles of kamikazi attacks on the naval battles as well. Torpedo versions of the Oka were fired at oncoming battleships and hundreds of planes were loaded with explosives for more dive bombing action.

One of the plans that almost saw action was to use the Japanese Flagship, the Yamato as the last line of suicide defense against the invading army. It considered beaching the great ship against a strategic point in the okinawa area, forming a mini-island fortress and having all its soldiers on board open fire with everything they got(sounds suspiciously like Macross/Robotech's Daedelus maneuver doesnt it?).



The Yamato, the largest superbattleship in the world. It was 62,000 tons of armor and firepower. Unfortunately, torpedoes werent in vogue when it was first designed

Fortunately for the Allied forces, it went down after a series of torpedo fire from American warships. Unmanned torpedo fire of course.

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I heard Discovery's going to launch their "Interview with the Kamikazi pilots" series soon. Well, for me, I would love to do a Divine Wind for Dummies book sometime.

Is that a B29 Flying fortresses? Put pilot in rocket... fire
Oh, there are Aircraft Carriers? Put gunner in Torpedo... fire.
Are those Tanks? Strap explosives on civilian...

Simple eh? I mean, how do you counter kamikazi bombers? Kill them?

No wonder Truman just nuked 'em out of sheer frustration.

And as a final trivia:
When the Japanese DID surrender, hundreds of soldiers committed harakiri (ritual suicide). Now that is DEFINITELY something.

I Guess This Sums Everything Up...

SSexy
OOutrageous
LLucky
OOld
FFlirtatious
LLegendary
IInsane
TTrustworthy
EEarthy

Name / Username:


Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

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Waiiiit a sec... Im not THAT OLD!!! :)

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

The Letter to Cupid

Was cleaning up my room and found an old draft i made years ago that never got published. Damn im good ;)

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Dear Cupid,

Hi. Remember me? Im the guy you bumped into last week in starbucks? We had a little chat over your millennial coffee break and you told me you'd like to tell me about what you do sometime. Well, i finally stopped procrastinating and started writing.

First of all, I really think you have an enormous amount of dedication to your job. You seem to be shooting arrows at everyone, anytime, anywhwere, regardless of background, gender or history.

I really remember the first time i got stung by your arrows: I didnt know what it was then. All of a sudden, the girl became so perfect in my eyes: everything she did was a masterpiece, every thought a spark of genius. I felt my blood run cold whenver she passed by... and flush red hot whenever she stopped to talk. Her wish was my command, and the genie within me longed to server this new master...

Well, that was a long time ago, and after that, i began to understand the effects of your power over me. Over time, i could suppress the tendency to give in to my heart's every desire, although not entirely. At least, i think got over the lovesick part, or maybe you didnt hit the bulls eye the last few times?

Actually, i suppose im one of the lucky ones. A few of my friends have gone head over heels over their own special someones, did things they would not have normally done sober or otherwise, or have simply gone nuts. For others, the effect was positive- a sudden inpiration or at least a purpose in living.

In any case, do you have control over what happens next or do you just set us up and leave it to our free will to decide what to do? I cant really say for sure which actually happens.

Another thing-- Have you ever missed your mark? I mean, what if you accidentally shot someone who shouldnt have been shot? You know-- The big, muscular guy with the small nerdy girl. Black guys, white girls. Chinese and Pinoys... they're just all over the place!

Dont you know that each race, culture or group has its own standards on what is rightfully right and wrongfully wrong? Why dont you just let these guys love their own - these sort of relationships only cause headaches at the end. Did you really intend this to happen, or were you just kinda shooting at random?

This really hurts when religion, family and friends become a factor. these forces do everything they can do to make two lovers as miserable as possible... and give the 'I told you so' lecture when the relationship ends in ruins. I mean, why be so sadistic as to create a love that was doomed from the start? And dont give me that 'tis better to have loved and lost' routine. Im sick of it.

Here's something you might want to think about. What if that person doesnt want to be in love? What then? Do you force him out of sheer happiness on your part? Is there some sort of antidote to this poison called love? Or do we need a special immunity of some sort? Like, if i get hit five times, the next shot wouldnt affect me as much? I know people who claim they arent affected by your arrows, but all of them, at one time or another, would have felt the power of your arrows?

Do you always shoot in pairs? I know of girls falling into depression because the guys they gloss over probably dont even know they exist. I know of guys with large slap marks on their cheeks who evidently have the same problem. Why should you make this thing called love so one-sided? Shouldnt you make it a little more interactive?

Come to think of it, why is it that you keep hittin me with your arrows? Sometimes i feel as if you fire a volley at me each time coz i always, always get obsessed with two or more girls at a time.

Let me rephrase that last question... Why dont you just make other people madly in love with me. And make sure its the right gender and Genus this time! Is this wish a bit too selfish, or are you just sick of hearing the same wish over and over again?

How long does the effect last anyway? Is there such a thing as true love, or does the warranty simply say 'A hundred years or the person's death, whichever comes first.' I got lovesick a few times with the durations lasting from a few minutes to a couple of weeks. It's whats happened to my friends which bothers me: Theirs last for weeks, months or even years! Am I normal or what? At least tell me how much time it takes before its effects are supposed to wear off.

So be honest with me... What is in each of those arrowheads of yours? Does the BFAD know? Does it have any narcotics we oughta know about? I suppose there would be some sort of neurotoxins in them--- the last time I got hit i couldnt even stammer out a decent sentence. I also think theres something addicting about it... no matter how much i bitch about it, I never could have enough.

Anyways, hope you can get to answer these soon. I need something to give to my editor. Thanks!

Sincerely yours,

Adrian


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And oh yeah. I never did get to finishing the reply... Maybe when im not too tamad to do it...

Saturday, June 05, 2004

I never

(those in bold apply)

I've never been drunk (almost. not quite... or at least i dont recall hehe)
I've never smoked pot
I've never kissed a member of the same sex (god forbid)
I've never crashed a friend's car (wonder why?)
I've never been to japan
I've never been to europe
I've never ridden in a taxi
I've never been in love
I've never been dumped
I've never shoplifted (Well, not on purpose)
I've never been in a fight (i miss fistfights hehe)
I've never had a threesomeI've never snuck out of my house (I actually climb the wall for fun! hehe)
I've never pissed on myself I've never been arrested
I've never made out with a stranger
I've never been on a blind date
I've never lied to a friend (white lies lang... like if they ask "Tumaba ba ako?"

I've never had a crush on a teacher
I've never skipped school (i made it a personal commitment to skip a class every week hehehe)
I've never thrown up in public
I've never purposely set a part of myself on fire
I've never eaten sushi
I've never been happy with myself
I've never met a movie star
I've never cheated in any test/exams (i just confirm my answers)
I've never confessed my feelings for anyone before
I've never run away from home I've never been on a stage
I've never had my heart broken
I've never been on the dean's list
I've never colored, permed, hot oiled, salon treated my hair
I've never killed anyone --not yet.soon maybe
I've never bungee jumped/rock climbed
I've never completed reading the Bible
I've never attempted to kill myself (well, not directly)
I've never dreamed to become the President of the Philippines, or any government official
I've never seen a real kangaroo
I've never written a [published] book (soon, soon maybe :)
I've never completed watching Meteor Garden (this im proud of)
I've never saved anyone's life
I've never saved money above P1000
I've never imagined my wedding day
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this was shamelessly cut and pasted from someone else's Blog.

and i forgot from whom. Thanks to whoever made this :)

Thursday, June 03, 2004

DVD Review - The odyssey (1997)



If you're looking for a good, true-to-homer Greek epic adventure, this should definitely on the top of your wishlist. The Odyssey's story revolves around the very human hero Odyseus and of his wife Penelope in their quest to be reunited. The film is quite true to the original Odyssey storyline, but I like the particular perspective from which it was made.

Whereas Homer painted the picture of Odysseus battling creatures greater than him and surviving on wit, cunning and extraordinary bravado, the film focuses on the drama behind it. Yes, there is the cyclops, the scylia, the excursion to the underworld and other harrowing adventures, they take a backseat to the human dillemma of our hero.

He seems to have a penchant for getting himself into tempting scenarios such as a tryst with Circe, the buxom goddess who kept him and his entire crew in ecstatic bliss for 5 years and the sexy goddess Calypso (Vanessa Williams) and her island of scantily clad sexy nymphets who kept him, of course against his will, in their island paradise.

In a sense, even if Odysseus does give in to his desires, he really cant be faulted. He is after all, just a man, and they really are irresistable goddesses, but the film makes sure we realize what kind of agony he keeps going through.

His wife, on the other hand is dodging wave after wave of lecherous suitors and delaying the inevitable act of remarrying and the movie gives a particular focus on Penelope's dillemma. By the time Odysseus gets back and slaughters each and every one of them, you would be cheering him on.

Overall, i think Francis Coppola did the right thing on focusing on the human side of the Odyssey, but could have tapered down on some sickeningly lousy action sequences (like Telemachus using a double-spear launching attack and impaling two of his mothers suitors at once) But given the budget constraints of the film and its positioning as an educational material, i'd say it was a pretty good film.

Special effects : 7/10
Overall Acting : 8/10
Storyline : 9/10
Babe Rating : 10/10 (Damn hot goddesses)
Bloodshed : 8/10
Overall : 8/10

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Insomnia Induced Quips

On the lighter side of brownouts:

Damn. Meralco just scheduled an 8 hour brownout tomorrow...
Gotta eat all the ice cream before it melts

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On Jeepneys:

For years, media has played up to the Jeepney as the king of the road and a shining example of Filipino Ingenuity. From the humble beginnings of a post-war jeep, it is now the bona fide mass transport system of choice of the filipino masa.

How long as it been since you saw one of these?

Well, up until a few years ago perhaps. These hulking masses of scrapmetal are a roadhazard and a serious detriment to our society. They cut, they swerve, they show no respect for the rest of the motoring populace. They blare their sickening horns ("AAAAaaaahhahhahahahhaaha!" or something like that) as soon as the lights turn red, yet stop abruptly after crossing the intersection.

They are the avatars of the bad driving gods.

They are no longer nice to look at, no longer cute. Gone are the days when each jeep was customized by a loving owner. No more are the mini-horses, roosters or cultural artforms that used to decorate the jeeps. Gone too are the witty taglines that used to adorn them. The jeepneys of today are but mass-produced blander copies of their original's glory.

The jeepney has outlived its usefulness. It was bound for obsolescence in this world of MRTs and FXes years before. And yet it still remains.

Pinoy Machismo Exemplified in the Jeepney

Unfortunately, the jeepney's existence just reflects sorry state of our culture. In this time where the Philippines is the Sick Man of Asia, the music industry's chart toppers are always the Spaghetti's or the Ocho Ochos and our government is filled with actors, basketball players and circus freaks I am not altogether surprised that we still tolerate the jeepney.

Onli in da pilipins. Sigh. Pag ako naging presidenti...

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Whew... that took longer than i thought. I still need to finish a pint of turtle cake...
But im not complaining :)

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Pangs of Doubt

In the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the single worst possible torture ever invented was the Total Perspective Vortex. Even worse than being tied down to a chair and forced to listen to abysally hideous Vogon poetry, this evil device can shred a man's very soul and destroy him from the inside.

Anyone strapped inside this nefarious device would see the universe in its infinite totality... all possible creatures, worlds, technologies, stretching out from galaxy to galaxy, from the start of time itself to the end of the world as we know it.

And then focus on him: a infinitely miniscule dot.

As to what would happen, the observer would realize his absolute insignificance in the world. No matter how great he was, no matter how large his contributions were for the world, Whether he stood up for what he believed in or stood idly by and whether he lived or died... he is but a small atom in the vastness of the galaxy.

Whatever his contributions, someone else can do later on. Whatever his legacy, no one will really miss. Whoever he is, as far as the galaxy is concerned, he is nothing worth caring about.

And thus, he will doubt whatever he believed in. He will lose his will to live, and he will be broken.

Absolutely cruel and soulless. And downright scary.

Thats how i feel now. Small, powerless and hopelessly insignificant. Fighting for even the recognition of my existence in an uncaring world, living life one day at a time, struggling to reach the dawn each time. And doubting if im even doing the right thing.

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Almost five years ago i laid out my plans for the life i wanted: By twenty-five i'd have an MBA, by twenty eight id have my first porsche, by thirty id be the most eligible bachelor in manila and by thirty eight the fastest rising political star in the philippines. And i would lead this country back to its glory.

Well, im a few months away from turning a quarter of a decade old, and i am a far cry from what i want to be. I've had a lot of reasons -- Bouts of asthma hit me the past few years, political crises and various economic reasons forced me to delay my MBA plans and there were a number of potentially jeopardizing streaks of bad luck. Not much went my way the past few years.

But life doesnt listen to excuses. Its either you make it or you dont. You win or you lose. You're a hero or a zero.

And right now im a zero. I have failed in my commitments to myself.
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I've felt so burnt out the past few weeks. The stress, the physical drain, the sacrifices i made, was it all worth it? Almost absolutely nothing was going right for me.

The answers came to me as i was cleaning my room the other day. I stumbled upon a number of draft articles i made back in college. Feeling nostalgic, i read and re-read each one.

It brought me back in that point back in my senior year where i was getting so frustratedly bored with my course. I had also just realized my passion for writing and applied as editor for the features section of the school paper where i was currently a writer.

At that time, i was so obsessed with writing, and was starting to seriously hate computer related coding. I swore to myself to shift courses if i became the editor, and if i liked it, even delay a bit so i would be editor in chief. And so i entered the editorial race with gusto, knowing full well my writing experience was less than a year but fully prepared to take on the consequences.

Well, i lost the race. As a double whammy, my arch nemesis in writing became the editor. Even worse, he made life miserable for me in the school paper, seriously stunting my growth as a writer. It was a traumatic experience for me, the first time i truly felt failure.

I quit the paper then and there, dedicating myself instead to my thesis. I hit my highest GPA that year and finished the thesis way ahead of schedule. I still didnt like programming though.

Just before i graduated i ran into another series of bad turns yet again. First, i got a major sprain which had me on crutches for almost two months. This was a major blow to someone as proud, independent and active as i was. I was reduced to depending on everyone for support and suffered a really bad hit on my ego. It was two months of pure torture for me.

Of course, it was also during these crucial two months that everyone was hiring the grads like crazy. I missed out on a large number of potential employees and offers.

When i finally recovered from the sprain, I was able to secure an interview with Accenture, one of the top firms in the country. I did well in the interview, but when the interviewer realized i was connected to DOST*, he dropped me like a hot potato. I went home dejected yet again.

(*DOST requires a bond whenever a company sends their graduates abroad and they had bad experiences with DOST scholars going TNT when they send them to the states)

The next week, by some streak of luck, another top IT firm was looking for fresh grads to join a very seldom offered training program. Since i was available at that time, i took the test, the interview and passed. The offer was significantly higher than Accenture's and as an added bonus, they saw my potential not in the technical side of life, but rather in marketing and sales.

Ive been working there ever since.

________________________________

And I realized it then.

These things, would never have happened if everything were smooth sailing. If i became editor, i probably wouldnt have finished my thesis on time or would have shifted courses. If i hadnt failed in the first interview, or if i didnt sprain myself, i would never have gotten the opportunity to join my current company.

I shouldnt look at everything in as much totality as the galaxy. My life, and the lives of those around it should be enough. Whatever crisis im having right now, i would just remember nostalgically in a few years. Whatever mishaps i get into now, i would only laugh at later on. As long as im alive, i could just take life's beatings and grin. And that knowledge gives me strength.

Life will keep throwing curveballs at me. I will win some, and i will lose some. I may be down now, but not forever. Did I fail? Yes, probably. But am i out of the game? Definitely not.

Truth, Justice, in the Adrian Way...

Enneagram
free enneagram test


The Reformer
The principled, idealistic type. Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic..

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Mwahahahaha!!!! Me? Morally Heroic??!! :)
Well, at least i know i hope i'll look good in shining armor :)