Memories of an Idiot

I was looking at the last few posts and they've been bordering to near dead-seriousness already. Before my sanity goes overboard, here goes ...

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Whenever I feel like an idiot (like today), i try to recall the most idiotic moments of my life and think to myself "Boy, today could have been much worse". And so, here i am reminiscing...

...THE TOP ABSOLUTELY MOST IDIOTIC THINGS I HAVE EVER UTTERED...


...to a cute lit major:

Girl: "...right now im reading Hugo"

Me: "...Oh I love his works!"

(I knew Les Miserables was NOT Pronounced Less Miserabless)

"In fact Ley Miserabley is really one of my favorites :)"



...to a married woman:

Me: ...ey! Ur Anita Kurishima* right?

MW:...actually, its Anita Quirino now.

Me: ...so...ahhh... Why did u change your name?

MW: Duh.


*Names have been changed to pretend my innocence



...to a gorgeous freshman student council wannabe:

Girl: ...hey wait! Ive talking to you for the past hour... ARE you telling me that you are NOT a freshman??!

Me: I thought it was a good pickup line.

Little Homer Simpson Voice at the back of my brain: DOOOOPE!!!


...while ordering at the McDo counter while dripping wet after being drenched by a July Supertyphoon:

Counter Girl: "1 Hot choco. Anything else sir?"

Me: "I'll have a hot fudge sundae."

Counter girl: "..."

**gives me the most incredulous look i have ever seen on a counter girl**


...to a most honest waitress who picked up my wallet and called me up to give it back:
Me: "Thanks."

(Counts wallet's money in front of her.)

Me: "Thanks again!"

...while ordering at the Jollibee drivethru counter:

Drivethru girl: "Sir, One Champ meal, go large, One palabok fiesta, One hot fudge sundae and Peach Mango Pie... Anything else sir?"

Me: "Thats all."

DTG: "How about your drink?"

Me: "Diet Coke"

DTG: "..." **Gives me the most incredulous look i have ever seen on a drive thru girl**

Me: *sheepish voice* "...im on a diet?"


...while calling a pretty girl at her house AFTER her phone curfew:

The Sleepy Dad Answering: *Yawn* "HELLo?" *Yawn*

Let me pause at this stage. Normally, when i dial the wrong number, or when someone i dont like answers the phone, I usually have a built in excuse randomly picked from my ever dependable mental list of excuses. And here i go using one of them. Back to the story.

Me: "Uhh... is this ...Tech Support?"

The Sleepy Dad Answering: "This is tech support."

Me: *panicky voice* "Oh shit"

The Now Awake Dad Answering: "Who is this please?"

*Dial Tone*

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Which only goes to show that i am at my mentally worst whenever theres a pretty girl involved... or im just damn hungry.

I will end this public show of humiliation while you still has some respect for me...

As if there ever was... :)