Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Memories of an Idiot II

So whats the difference between stupidity and genius?
Genius has its limits.

Join me once again I dare to look upon the world and weep at the triumph of human stupidity. This time I step aside and leave other people to play the part of the hapless imbecile...

__________________

Stupid Email:
I needed a partner of ours to send a very sensitive email to a customer of ours.
I asked her to send it very discreetly.
She did it to the letter.

The subject said "Discreet Email" and was sent to every person who should never have been copied.

Ugh. Nothing could have been more conspicuous.
*exact words have been changed, but you get the point


__________________

Quail Eggs:
I asked a maid of ours to help out with making instant soup (yeah, this by itself should give you an idea at the level of stupidity involved)
More specifically, I asked her to add Quail eggs for extra chunkiness.
I then left to do some other chores.

I came back 5 minutes later and saw her scrambling each and every quail egg...

insert *soloflite_slapping_his_head.jpg*

__________________

The Cute Lil Bonsai:

I thought that Bonsais were always ittybitty lil plants in miniature flowerpots.
That is, until I realized that Bonsai basically meant anything that can be described as a potted tree.

One day, I drove to an uncle's party with a gift from my mom: A beautiful bonsai.
I asked a couple of waiters for help and explained the situation.
The first guy I talked to said "Bonsai lang pala e! Kayang kaya ko yan!*" confidently and waved away his partner.
(*Bah! Bonsai?! I can do it myself. I dont need extra help)

I chose to keep my mouth shut and my smile well checked as I led him to the van.

He nearly fainted with shock when I opened the back and showed him the 5 foot tall, 200 pound BONSAI inside.

__________________

Drunk on Low Tide

While partying in a beach, one drunken friend started shouting "Night Swimming tayo!!!" and started taking off his shirt and going to the nearest balcony overlooking the sea.
He then dived.

Unfortunately it was 12 hours since high tide when he did, and that the water that should have greeted him was being pulled off to the other side of the earth.

He hit the rocky beach and was lucky to get off with a few major scratches, some minor lacerations, but try as we might, none of his pride was salvaged.

_________________

Fried Rice

A couple of friends of mine once arrived too late for an overnight party.
Too late that everyone was already asleep and everything was already cleaned up.

But since they were so hungry they decided to raid the fridge and see whatever was in there.

Guy 1: "Woooww!!! Fried rice!!!"
Guy 2: "Mmmm... u sure? Looks a bit weird"
Guy 1: Nibbles on the rice. "Seems good to me"
Guy 2: "Whatever you say dude."

They finished the rice and then slept.

That morning our caretaker was scratching his head and going "Who ate my poor Bruno's food?"


...to be continued... thinkpad on low batt :)

8 comments:

April said...

HAHAHA! I like this post... I might showcase it on my site. ;) Those were some stupid ass things u said... nice to know it's in the past, eh? Shit, I've said some stupid stuff myself. In Spanish class today, I got the word cansda and cansada mixed up. The difference? Cansada means "tired" and cansada means "married". Oi! Ole!

buRpday guRL said...

hahahahahahhahahahaha ;p you're the target pala of claire's wrath? hehe she should learn to take things in stride, bata pa kasi. anyhoo, you're right. ateneo peaked too early in the season, their record in the 2nd round was appalling! i watched the game last sunday and the archers did deserve that win. mac mac was so awesome, he's actually the reason as to why i've never liked the archers. but last sunday, i saw a different mac mac. so we'll see what happens later, feu's just too damn strong. we'll see. :)

angel said...

Lol! Hilarious post as usual. I can't stop laughing about those quail eggs.

Anonymous said...

Hey nice follow up to the King Larry post. But do you know how to differentiate stupidity from genius? Stupid is when nerds talk about something they don't know about, something like basketball. You know what is stupider? When the blag-praising club praises that blog to heaven. And do you know what is stupidest? When their blog accidentally crashes to eliminate unwanted comments.

- Larry F.

solo flite said...

hehehe paminsan minsan, iba naman ang idiot :)

larry f: my blog crashed?

JP said...

so, what was your comment on my last tag?

loryces said...

HAHAHA! you made me laugh with the bonsai story! :)

picture of japanese bonsai tree said...

Hi solo flite, your blog is excellent. As I was surfing around today looking for detailed info on how to make a bonsai tree I somehow ended up on your page. As your described site, this post is not exactly related to my search, I am certainly glad I stopped by. Oh well, back to surfing and I am sure I will find what I am looking for, and should you ever need information about how to make a bonsai tree, then stop by for a look. Thanks for the post.