Monday, May 31, 2004

Some Colorful Trivia...

A friend and i were talking about his car and his most recent paint job. After a few remarks, i asked him if he were painting it 'sporty red.'

Well, no he told me. "Its more accident prone"

And then the debate started.

I said it was just a lot of bullshit about that and that the insurance guys just want to charge higher premiums for red and black.

Truth is, i said, its most probably because the most maniacal drivers like to view themselves as the racer types and get the most sporty-lookin cars available.

And red would of course be the color of choice. Plus, since red promotes aggressiveness, the already maniacal driving instincts would be more... maniacal :)

note---- Afterwards, i purposely drove slower than normal and counted the number of cars that overtook me with gusto. There were ten. Seven were red cars. Proof enough? ---

So there. Its psychological. "So you dont have to worry about accidents since youre not a psychopatic driver." I said.

And then his argument began.

Well, maybe thats the psychological angle, but the truth is, that red is the hardest color to spot at night. Not black, as i obviously thought.

First of all, black cars would look blacker than their surroundings, so you have an idea that they're there. From afar, you would even see the dark shadow coming at you.

Red cars on the other hand, for some reason, would be harder to spot at night. Thats why some drivers keep ramming into red cars and never knowing it.

Apparently the US Navy also knew about this and used red lights in their studies on night vision and stealth tactics.

Red does not ruin night vision and is overall "softer" than other lights. Its the reason why red lights are the only lights allowed for developing pictures. And the reason girls in the red light districts tend to look better than normal ;)

"Ahhh...." I said. So given the fact that red cars are harder to see, and the more mentally unstable drivers tend to use them, this would of course, increase the probability of accidents by a huge factor.

And what would be the safest? Thats a cinch. Yellow, most likely, or white right? Of course.

Satisfied with the conclusions, i went home and forgot all about it.

Until insomnia set in.

I just HAD to know for sure.

So i did a search on the internet and found out that some researchers were actually bored enough to actually study the effect of color.

The Study

After studying tons and tons of road accidents, they came to the following conclusion that the safest car is actually silver (not white, but close enough).

and most accident prone car is...

...................BROWN!!!! And they have no idea why.

Just proves that whatever logical reasons you have, you're definitely asking for trouble if your car looks like shit.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Them Damn Starstruck Kids

Im a frustrated entertainer.

When i was a kid, i dreaded family reunions.
As with every normal filipino family, this meant a time to showcase your artistic and godgiven abilities.
It was a time all the kids were lined up to dance, sing or do whatever special talents they know
And i had none of those.

One by one, my titas would talk proudly about their kids- "My baby has such a cute dance number...", "My little boy can sing the..." or "Little nene here can play the piano"
And then it starts... The session...
A dance, A song, another dance

And then it would come to me.
After the nth reunion proving that i had not a single musical or even coordinated bone in my body, i get this intro:
"My boy adrian... well, he can... umm... he can... read the encyclopedia!! See, how smart he is?"
And i just stand there, suddenly in the limelight, thinking desperately of how the hell i should show this talent
What do i do? Read in front of them?!
After the Ooohs and Ahhhs, and obviously no response from me, they move on to the next kid on the intro.

Damn, that was a frustrating time in my life.
I felt like a loser then, reading the encylopedia early on being my only claim to fame...
Luckily, i realized that there are other talents besides acting, singing and dancing
There is also... umm... ahhh... unmmm... well, other talents


Anyways, i was watching TV awhile ago and chanced upon the Starstruck kids competition.
these were kids who had no problems whatsoever performing in front of an audience
They must have damn big families

Must be easy getting kids to join that too
I mean, if every filipino family has reunions that arent complete without the usual musical entertainment, the kids are bound to show their aptitudes early.

And all kids below 5 are cute.
I have never seen a butt ugly baby.
Or at least anyone who admitted having a butt ugly baby.
If ET were born of a filipino, the family would still squabble over who gave him the "Cute" beady eyes...
Or even the three fingers... (I could imagine one of them saying... "Ah! Si Tita Baby, ganyan yung daliri!")

Well, they should enjoy this time of their lives
They're only cute til puberty
Then they'll realize that they should have just read the encyclopedia when they were smaller

Friday, May 14, 2004

An Experimental Short Story -- The New Joey

The New Joey

Finally, the day had come.

Joey had lost his parents at an early age and had no other living relatives.
He was sent to an orphanage as a toddler and was forced to live with other little kids.
Which wasnt so bad, except that Joey FukinMoron was kinda unique.
And you know how cruel little kids can be sometimes to people who stand out. Teenagers too. Well, everyone for that matter.

All his life, Joey endured it.
Call him a loser, a wuss or whatever, he just grinned and bore it.
Outwardly at least. It tore him from the inside out.
He definitely hated his name.

Well, today would be different.
Here he was, in the regional trial court, moments away from his destiny.
He was having his name changed.
At last.

The judge called for him to call forward.
"Mr. Joey FukinMoron, is it?"
He nodded silently, quite aware of the Judge's snicker.

"I understand why you want to change your name."

Images of his orphanage life swirled around him.
Little kids announcing his arrival at every turn.
Teenagers asking the professor for another roll call.
And endless events where time and time again, Joey FukinMoron was introduced on stage.

Yes, he knew why he wanted to change his name.

No more would he become the laughingstock of the crowd, the born loser who was cursed by fate.
Joey had schemed long and hard for this day.
Blood, sweat and tears had gone into ensuring this session.
But it will be well worth it.
He now had the power to change his identity to one of power, confidence and assurance.
Unlike everyone else, he can now choose his own name.
His OWN name.

He, stepped forward. "Yes, your honor"
The Judge looked down from his pedestal and asked "And what would your new name be?"

Joey paused for the effect, making sure the Judge knew how much this meant to him.
And with his most dramatic voice, he stated the name he wanted.
"Alvin, your honor"