Sunday, October 31, 2004

The House of Flying Tigers ....(and Hidden Dragons)

After trying valiantly to write a coherent, grammatically correct and stylishly flowing essay, I now submit to my natural tendency to just blabber incoherently. (Yeah, this first sentence should warn you enough. Writers Block still has a helluva grasp on me.)


The past few years saw a lot of trends in hollywood filmmaking. But the most recent is probably the return of the sequels. Most, if not all the new films are either modern day remakes of old movies, spin-offs of great movies or sequels and prequels to successful movies.

What's to expect for next year? I mean, with this trend in moviemaking, are we to assume that they are out of ideas? WHAT IF they did get desperate enough to try crazy ideas?

In any case... Here's some of mine:


Crazy Hollywood Idea # 1:

The most successful film in history deserves nothing more than a sequel. Or maybe in this case, a prequel.

Leo Di Caprio will star in the prequel to the multi-award winning Titanic. It will chronicle his misadventures as the dashing young rascal who painted rivers and spat on naked young french girls.

Crazy Hollywood Idea # 2:

Tom Cruise will return once more as the katana-wielding Nathan Aldrin in the sequel to his oriental-inspired masterpiece in...

"The Last Samurai.

Crazy Hollywood Idea # 3:

Matt Damon will return in a love-story spin-off of his popular super-spy blockbusters in...

"Bourne for You"

*Thanks to PJ for the idea

Crazy hollywood Idea # 4:

Anne Hathaway turns online in the newest installment of her royal series in...

"The Princess Blogs"

Crazy Hollywood Idea # 5:

Tired of the usual spy flicks, they'll try out a little Asian twist inspired by The Tuxedo. Only this time, they'll use American Idol Celebrity Will Hung in the spy flick (title to be annouced) as the debonaire secret agent happily banging away with his big gun...

His trademark tagline with the women (delivered in a cassanova James Bond Fashion) will be
"I'm Hung. Well Hung."

Crazy Hollywood Idea # 6:

Inspired by Reality-based television and the success of films such as Supersize Me, the producers of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy will have the Fab Five in a homophobic thriller where they try to do popular TV host Joe Rogan against his will.


Crazy Hollywood Idea # 7:

Again, inspired by Supersize Me, Fastfood Giants McDonalds and Burger King strike back using Danny DeVito and Mini-Me's comedic antics in...

"Would you rather be Undersized?"

Ah well. Thats one reason im not in showbiz :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2004


After finishing almost six hours worth of online learning,
I have now certified my brain as mush.

I've taken a number of online courses before, and most of the packaged courses I got are basically glorified powerpoint presentations with some interactive features with a pre-recorded speaker's voice droning in the background.

Supposedly this allows you to finish a class at your own pace and the canned presentation the educators to standardize their lectures.

But this doesnt work for me.

Back in college, the only ways for me to keep myself awake during class were:
  • 1. Draw the teacher in various idiotic situations and pass it around during class

    2. Ask enough intelligent/rhetorical/smartass/idiotic questions to keep the professor on his/her toes, but not enough to trigger a heart attack (though some came dangerously close)

    3. Just cut the damn class altogether

All of these, I obviously cannot do while taking an online course.

Thus, I have no other option but to blog while listening.

But I digress... This post is not about online courses, as with all major posts in this blog, this is about me.

I have the attention span of a velociraptor-- If it aint moving, I dont move in for the kill.

It's weird actually, I need to keep my brain occupied doing many different things at the same time.

Just check my desktop right now: There's my email, YM, the company instant messenger, three lotus 123s, six notepads, four MS Words and lots of IE browsers open. Add to that, texting with my two celphones and talking with people on my landline, you pretty much have an idea of how messed up my brain is.

Is this normal?

Apparently it is.

For nerds, at least.

There is a need for some people to multitask many things at the same time. Some can eat popcorn while watching TV, while reading a book while texting with their free hand. Some can switch between talking using different languages and chatting between multiple chatsites at the same time. And some can keep multiple GFs, gimmick buddies and "special friends" all at once.

This is a phenomenon (except maybe for the last example) a certain blogger calls Nerd Attention Deficiency Disorder or NADD. Drop by his site for a good read on this subject.

Anyway, stop reading this post right now.

Look at your desktop.

How many tasks are you working on besides reading this weblog? 10? 15? More than 20?

Then you got NADD, my kindred geek-in-hiding. And I am not alone.

Anyways, back to the online courses.
I just figured out how to take three of em at the same time.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

In Defense of the Typical Male: Chapter I

Throughout my life as a Typical Male (as some man-haters would call me), there has been but one evil in the world that has made my spine chill faster than liquid nitrogen.

Nope, its not an oncoming car thats seconds away from slamming into me. Nope its not a rampaging horde of howling, drooling, rabid dogs running towards me. And nope, not even a knife-wielding mugger that tried to swing at me.

The scariest scariest thing imaginable is to piss off a a woman who has PMS written all over her.

PMS is a combination of physical and emotional symptoms that occurs premenstrually and is absent the rest of the menstrual cycle, severe enough to significantly interfere with work or home activities. --- Random Google Search

In other words: It is what turns the nicest most docile ladies into the most evil slandering murderous bitches you ever known.

And woe to us males because no girl is immune to this effect.


Which brings me to the question...

What then is the male version of PMS?

Testosterone, my dear Watson. Testosterone.

This is the hormone that makes us connect to our bloodthirsty barbaric past. This allows us to transform from mild-mannered reporters to death-defying supermen. It can cause us to twist our neck at every hint of cleavage, cause us to bring out our full wrath on every idiotic driver on the highway or reduce brain activity to a standstill whenever a beautiful girl blows us a kiss.

It makes us aggressive, irrational and deviously scheming human beings.

Yes. Testosterone is the male PMS. No doubt about it.

Except maybe for the headaches. These we create artificially by getting stupidly drunk on friday and saturday nights. But then Testosterone is almost always involved in these sessions...

So there.

Women have PMS every month. We have it every day of our lives.

If we take time to understand their PMS-related hellfire every so often each month, it is only fair that they forgive our every little testosterone-induced misdemeanour every day :)

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Life and Sounds

A few posts ago, I was blogging about some people I think have the material as modern day pinoy heroes. I heard about these folks sometime back and did some research on the net about what they really did.

Yesterday, my brother invited me to watch the Business Matters (an inspirational radio segment in 98.7) anniversary special Life and Sounds. The theme was to showcase the world-class excellence of Filipinos by speeches from various Pinoy achievers and performances from high caliber-artists (Did i mention that this was in direct conflict with the Jasmania concert's sched?).

Reading the agenda and invite, I was pleasantly surprised that Pat Evangelista, Josette Biyo and Butch Jimenez (exec producer for the movie Rizal) were part of the speakers lined up. Intrigued, I bought a ticket immediately.

It was the best decision I made this week.


Heres a run through of the event. (You will notice that I am NOT really a musical enthusiast)

After Francis Kong's (Business Matters founder and president) welcome address, where he laid out the goals of Business Matters, we were treated to eye candy from handiwork productions cool mime-hands. Then, the speakers were unleashed.

First, Kiko Pangilinan, one of the few senators I actually admired, took the center stage and spoke both as Majority floor leader AND as the husband of Megastar Sharon Cuneta. He talked about some of the problems in the government, the steps he believed could solve some of them (like the problems of the judiciary and the history of his bill), then zoomed in into his life as a father, a husband and a leader in the senate. Quite inspiring.

Raymund Lauchengco then treated us with a couple of great songs with his usual entertaining appeal.

Next to speak, was to me, quite a surprising revelation. Roselle Ambubuyog, the blind student of Ateneo who graduated Suma Cum Laude, is now heading a number of foundations for the blind while acting as a consultant for a US firm (also developing new products for the blind) and working on her MBA. She talked about her initial obstacles after losing her sight, using a messed up Rubix cube (with stickers with Braille symbols so she knows the color of each square) and its messed up mosaic of colors symbolizing her life.

She was a very entertaining speaker, talking about her anecdotes in Ateneo where the other students were stupefied as to how to treat her (for example a typical "See ya tomorrow!" caused many a student to backtrack on their words. which she replies: "Its ok. Better than Feel you tomorrow?") or how she wanted to prove to everyone that a blind person, given the right resources, could do as well as or even outperform a person without disabilities (Ateneo even provided her with a Braille printer to allow her to scan any 2D image and print it as a Braille version to help her visualize complex diagrams)

At the end of her speech, she proudly showed the fully completed the Rubix cube which she solved while speaking (Figuring out one side is a task itself... But solving the whole damn cube with your eyes closed, feeling it up one square at a time, memorizing the position of each, moving the whole cube AND talking to an engrossed audience at the same time was really a feat of sheer mental strength!) and used it as an example on how we can fix up our life if we try hard enough.

The next speaker was Patricia Evangelista, a pretty debating great that was thrust into the limelight when she won an international speaking competition with her "Blond hair, blue eyes" speech in England (yeah. Beating the English in English in England. What an upset.).

I read the transcript of that speech before, but listening to it delivered in her charmingly engaging way, made it even better. She then called out a challenge to the youth of today, a generation "Why" with no Marcos, no World War, or any other definite evil to fight against, to rise up when the need arises. Very intelligent and witty girl. (Doesnt seem to check her email though.)

Robert Sena provided the intermission for the next few minutes, showing off his broadway skills and powerful voice.

Butch Jimenez came up next with a rehash of his famous address to the 2003 graduating class of UP. Like Pat's speech, I read the transcript from the web before, but apparently the one circulating thru the internet, unlike Pat's speech, was but a shortened version of the original. (Apparently, Butch performs extemporaneously and used only an outline of his speech when he first delivered it. However, due to the popular demand, he sent out a shorter version of the speech.)

Last of course, was the star of the show. Or in this case, a planet. Dr. Josette Biyo, the next speaker, is a PhD who selflessly teaches highschool biology in the rural school of PSHS Iloilo and is the first filipina who ever had a planet named after her. (Planet biyo was once one of the moons encircling Jupiter. The nerds at MIT decided it was a minor planet, and inspired by Dr. Biyo, named it after her.)

Charming, eloquent and impressive, Dr. Biyo took us all captive when she presented the ideas she gave life in her 8 year teaching stint in Iloilo. After finishing her PhD in DLSU, instead of hooking up with research institutes abroad, she decided to go back to her roots and use her training and experience to uplift the rural educational system.

Lacking the proper equipment and perpetually short on funds for books and computers, she radically transformed the teaching paradigms of PSHS Iloilo by employing more hands-on trainings, fieldtrips to the nearby forests and even sent off promising students to have mini-practicums with scientific agencies she used to work with. She also spearheaded "teach the teacher" efforts and gave free lessons to rural schoolteachers all over the country.

Her efforts were quietly making ripples in the stagnant pool of Philippine education, and soon the world noticed. Now, she is a multi-awarded and internationally acclaimed teacher who travels from country to country spreading hope to those who choose to make a career out of the most noblest of professions.

Her message was simple actually. Reach for the stars, and if you try hard enough, you might even get a planet.

Finally, Francis Kong closed the evening with a simple message.* Irregardless of the gloom of the government or the shadows surrounding our economy, we need not be afraid of the darkness because there are people out there, like Dr. Biyo or Butch Jimenez, striving hard and leading by example to keep that tiny flicker of hope alive.

Can we not do our part to fan these flames by living our lives as excellently as well?

*not exactly what Francis said

Friday, October 15, 2004

Writer's Blog

I once wrote this in a previous post... funny how the posts of the past come back and haunt you sometimes.

Paradox of the Writer's Blog:
When possessed with the sudden urge to make your literary masterpiece, your writing skills will desert you... but not enough NOT to have a blog entry

Corollary: When you want to have a great blog entry, all you can come up with is a one-liner, a song excerpt, a stupid "I am a...." quiz or one of your previous works which no-one ever read.

The past week, I have definitely had Writer's Blog.

The feeling's difficult to describe. If I were an athlete instead of a blogger, it would probably be a bit close to polejumping with a lead weight around your neck or playing basketball right after swimming for six hours. Or like playing billiards with a rope instead of a cue-stick or eating polvoron with chopsticks. Definitely a bad thing for any writer.

What causes it? I have no idea. Maybe stress? Fatigue? Wayward braincells on AWOL? A lack of divine inspiration? Or maybe a sudden drought of creative juices?

Whatever the reason, each word I've placed in each of the past few posts is a painstaking effort and more often than not, I end up staring indefinitely at the blank screen of my blogger.

Luckily, Oktoberfest, that beautiful tradition that celebrates God's greatest gift to mankind, will be upon me tonight. That should take care of all the stress and fatigue and the alcohol going directly to the brain should be enough to replace any lost creative juices :)


Random thought:

Women have it all. First, they have all these great holidays like Mother's Day, Valentine's Day and force us to remember all these other annivs, monthnivs, weeknivs and even daynivs. Then they have a 3-month maternity leave every year. Now, that crackpot senator Miriam's pushing for a one-day a month "PMS leave" for each and every female employee.

And they say its a man's world?

If it were up to me, we'd have a mandatory month-long Oktoberfest leave every year and get a "alcoholically-wasted day" leave every month :)

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Tomatoes, Tomahtoes

When is something not something?

Would a sculptor be insulted if you classified his work as dried mud?

Would a wine connoisseur get mad if you served him warm table wine?

Would Aladdin trade his dusty old lamp for a shiny new one?

One man's junk is another man's treasure they say.

But for now, one of my biggest treasure's this blog. No question about it. I know why I blog and thats enough to explain why I love my blog so much.

Funny how two popular pinoy online sites are virtually slugging it out on how to define what a blog is though.

One claims that blogs are online avatars of each person's individuality. It is here that we offer our voices to the world, here in the internet where the last true freedom exists. It is a reflection of everything we stand for, and thus must never be stained by corporate bias nor censored by mainstream media.

The other claims they can define the blog as they want to. Screw the comment sections, screw the trackbacks, screw the damn technicalities of what a blog is all about. They will blaze thru the constraints of old ideas to reach out to new frontiers. They will dare to tap the collective intelligence of the pinoy online populace, squeeze out the ideas of the best and the brightest, and use it as the future creative juices of journalism.

Looking through these sites and some others linked to them, fiery posts have sprung left and right about these two ideas. All this, over the difference between a blog and a "blog", the infighting between to potentially great pinoy online sites continues... (thus is the story of all great pinoy ideas)

Who, then, should be believed?

Frankly, I dont give a damn. Let them slash it out between them. All's fair in blog and war.

If I were them, though, I'd remember what happened when a street punk tried to intimidate Crocodile Dundee with a fan knife--- The punk got shown what a knife really is.

So to those two popular pinoy online sites:

Just shut up and show us what REAL BLOGGING's all about.


Okay... so shut up is a bit too strong a word :) But you get what I mean :)

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The safety's off

I think its the kender in me.

Last week saw me having a cold from monday to friday, forcing me to try to sleep earlier and try waking later.

Last weekend saw me in complete bedrest, raking in a decade high of almost 40 hours total naptime over the whole weekend and watching the world go around me (via a 29' TV in front of me and the laptop at my side) during the waking hours.

(As strange as it seems, when Im strangely subdued, I cant seem to write. Having done nothing idiotic within a 24-hour timeframe because of bedrest is not conducive to blog-posting.)

Last night packing up from work as soon as the clock struck five and hitting the sack as soon as i got home.

Enough is enough.

I dont care if im still sick. Im so bored, I HAVE to do something.

So tonight I played basketball. For two hours.

Nothing like a great workout to pump up all the adrenaline that will kill the evil viruses right?

Or was it white blood cells that kill the viruses?

Ahh hell. A good shot of alcohol should be enough to quench the curiosity :)

Will blog again in the morning.

If I can still stand up.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Rewarding Mediocrity

This year earmarks probably the biggest number of pseudo-heroes and heroines our country has ever had.

Every month, it never ceases to amaze me at how proud we are of people who put up a fight, stumble, try to stand up and be content to merely survive. Or at how we welcome home with royal carpets and fancy praises, Pinoys who make it to finals, or even semifinals, but deliberately forgetting that there was a gold that eluded them somehow.

It never ceases to amaze me at how we reward mediocrity so much.

Who can forget the Hero we call Angelo dela Cruz, whose only claim to fame was to plead for his life before a camera? (I believe he now has a house and lot as well as scholarships for his children.) Or Manny pacquiao who started out strong in the fight of his life, but lost steam towards the end?

We watched our athletes slug it out in the Olympics and cheer them on even as they return limping back to our land. We supported Jasmine trias with our texts and votes even though we knew she was no LaToya, Fantasia or even william hung (and when she returned here, look at all the money shes raking in.)

At the end of the day we tell ourselves that they could have made it. That it was merely luck that caused them to fall-- a blistered foot off a cheap sock, a broken shin from a wayward kick, or even a gust of wind that caused the arrow to miss. It is always Malas.

Or dinaya. There are always the biased sons-of-bitches-of-judges who gave a six instead of a 7, or racist americans voting for their own kind. Yes, we are always the victims, arent we?

And of course, they are OUR heroes.

But who are we kidding? There is no misfortune in these contests, only stumbling blocks. And our heroes used them as excuses not to strive further. In contrast, the real winners having trained too long and too hard for the prize, have honed their talents to perfection and refused to allow these molehills to stop their drive for the prize.

Our heroes fall because they have feet of clay, and yet, are seen as gods only because we allow them to be immortalized as gods. Ironic isn't it? The new media of immortality is no longer monuments or history books. Its is TV, cinema, DVDs and the billboards of EDSA. It is here that we, whether we like it or not, shape who our heroes are.

And it gets worse.

We have telenovelas based on the "success stories" of nubile young girls who bared it all and became famous. We encourage crassness in our films, call it art and give the best acting awards to those that show the most flesh in the most alluring way. We sell inane records, such as Ocho Ocho and Ispageti, like hotcakes because we encourage half-baked ideas. Worst of all, we tolerate idiotic noontimes shows as potential fieldtrip venues for our public school students.

These will be the basis of heroes of the next generation.

But for now, our normal folks strive to be the flawed heroes of today. For now, we call our OFWs heroes because of the money they bring in, forgetting that parentless, directionless and probably spoiled children are the price they paid for their income. For now, we glorify the nurses, the truck drivers, the pinoys who merely survive in foreign lands, ignoring the fact that they slowly become less and less pinoy, and encourage everyone else to assume pinoys are always second class citizens. Unfortunately, our everyday heroes just dont dream big enough.

The sad truth is, that when we dont have the right heroes, we will never have the right dreams. Without the right dreams, we will never challenge the mountains blocking our way, but bellyache instead at the molehills that trip us.

Without the right heroes to free us, we will forever be chained in mediocrity.

Is it hopeless then? Is this downward spiralling of our basis for heroism truly the trend?

I think not. I hope not.

Ironically, with every misfortune that befalls me, I am reminded that there are still true heroes out there. Heroes probably making nothing but ripples to the media, but heroes nonetheless.

There are the good-hearted pinoys who go out of their way who help kickstart my car's dead battery or offer me a ride when I lose my way. Kind strangers who picked up my lost phones and returned it to me without asking for anything in return. An honest waitress who stumbled upon an errant wallet and refused the reward I left in her hands.

There are but the everyday heroes who show us that honest good folk still roam our lands. Pinoys who will pull us up when we fall and encourage us on the choices we must make. We have heroes amongst us who stand up when we need them to.

We are never short of the common tao with the makings of a hero. But why can't they dream as heroes dream?

Then again, there are the heroes that are larger than life. Then again, there are Filipinos that make us proud to be Filipino just because we need to be proud of being Filipino. Then again, there are the Filipinos who stand up just because we need to have someone to look up to. Then again, there are the Filipinos who ensure that we shall never lack of heroes.

They are out there. But the media shoves them away from the spotlight.

Were there billboards of teenage sensation Patricia Evangelista along EDSA? Have there been stories and films based on the award winning "Blonde and Blue Eyes" speech she delivered before an amazed international audience? Where, oh where, is the proof which shows that she made a difference?

Who knows what has now happened to the only Filipina who had a planet named after her? Does anyone know what Dra. Josette Biyo, the Internationally acclaimed educator extraordinaire of Philippine Science Iloilo, namesake of the minor Planet Biyo and humble public servant, is doing right now? Has anyone even voluteered to play her role in a weekly telenovela? Is there even a picture of the said planet being circulated?

Does anyone in Quiapo, probably the masa's biggest source of culture, even pirate the award winning film, "Rizal"? Are there peddlers who sell legacies of Lino Brocka, our most celebrated director? Who has been mass-producing the DVDs of WengWeng, the James Bond of pinoy past?
We never made movies about the rise and fall of the great Marcos Dynasty. We never made quality productions of Corregidor and Bataan in the Silver Screen. We never did learn much from the heroes of history because we never immortalized them enough.

What then should we do to find pride in our heritage? Rizal waited a hundred years to have his legacy of a movie. Are we to force the heroes of our past and present to waste away in historical limbo as well?

We need our media to focus on more of our real heroes. We need to encourage the Pinoy Greats of our age to raise the bar and try once more to prove our lineage right. We need to point the spotlight once again, from the false heroes of today to the ones truly deserving of the limelight so everyone can see what a true-blooded Pinoy can really do.

We can make our true heroes, true heroes. By simply remembering them as true heroes.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

The Quest for Rusticaville

Was cleaning up on some old YM conversations (i save the interesting ones from time to time).

I was pleasantly surprised to find a previously unpublished chronicling on one of Soloflite's legendary journeys.

--Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The Lore_Master: Hmm... my story? Here goes...

The_Lore_Master: Once every year, at the eve of the first course card...

the_acolyte: (course cards. course cards, ahh!)

The_Lore_Master: the secret society known as TLS embarks on the sacred pilgrimage called The Teambuilding

The_Lore_Master: are you familiar with this tradition, young one?

the_acolyte: (i took a bath of flour in one. yes, i am familiar. go on, please.)

The_Lore_Master: In any case... the site of this particular story is the Great Baguio TLS escape known as... "Rusticaville"

The_Lore_Master: yes. i will not go into the hidden details on what happens in "the Teambuilding" but rather, the brave quest of the one known as Soloflite as he tries to find the secret path to Rusticaville

the_acolyte: (soloflite was left behind?)

The_Lore_Master: That year, the TLS team scheduled to go to Rusticaville via bus in one large group.

The_Lore_Master: ...but horror of horrors, another ancient tradition, called The Practicum pulled Soloflite back and allowed him only TWO of the FIVE days of alcoholic teambuilding

The_Lore_Master: so, on the Thursday morning, the majority of the TLS left by Bus towards baguio...

The_Lore_Master: ...leaving soloflite with a map. And with another TLS member who knows the secret path to Rusticaville

The_Lore_Master: And so that thursday morning, soloflite slaved with his practicum...

The_Lore_Master: ...and continued until the sun had set on the friday of that week...

The_Lore_Master: The Other, ancient TLS staffer who knew the path to rusticaville... we shall call The Rhapper

the_acolyte: (The Rhapper, heh)

The_Lore_Master: friday evening, the one known as The Rhapper calls up Soloflite... and asks that they meet at the bus terminal in Pasig.

The_Lore_Master: Soloflite arrives early in PASAY and awaits The Rhapper

the_acolyte: (OMG!)

The_Lore_Master: ahh yes

the_acolyte: (hahaha)

The_Lore_Master: and remember, texting was not yet in the vogue during that time...

The_Lore_Master: and all communication between the two from thereon... was thru PAGERS. these little unreliable predecessors of modern texting.

the_acolyte: (pagers, heh)

The_Lore_Master: ahhh.... until now, nobody knows who made the mistake... The Rhapper telling the wrong terminal, Soloflite remembering the wrong place... or the idiot in between who texted the wrong message

The_Lore_Master: in any case, Soloflite realizes that The Rhapper is in the OTHER terminal. hence, he just pages The Rhapper... "Its ok. lets meet in Baguio. I'll get on this bus now."

The_Lore_Master: this is around 10pm of the friday after the eve of 1st coursecard...

The_Lore_Master: luckily, Soloflite brought a cellphone. And so he opens his bag to call the other TLS friends just in case...

the_acolyte: (lucky cellphone)

The_Lore_Master: ...and realizes that he left the cellphone (big hulking mass of black) in the terminal.

The_Lore_Master: Along with the

the_acolyte: (OMG!! - again)

The_Lore_Master: ahh yes... where was I?

The_Lore_Master: Soloflite then realizing the situation... also realizes the Idioticity of his last text... as baguio is apparently larger than Megamall...

the_acolyte: ....!

The_Lore_Master: and did i mention that the hero, Soloflite was standing up? Because he only decided to get the tickets that evening

The_Lore_Master: ...and oh, that the trip to baguio is 8 hours?

The_Lore_Master: ...and even more if you have a flat tire?

the_acolyte: (i think his last name is murphy. really.)

The_Lore_Master: ...and thus... our hero was left standing stupidly aware of every idiotic thing he did that day for the next TEN hours

The_Lore_Master: ...ahh, but fortune smiled on our hero that night. he was able to convince nearby passengers to use their phone to page his friend The Rhapper

the_acolyte: (charm comes handy every once in a while)

The_Lore_Master: ahh yes. Charm is very handy.

The_Lore_Master: and Soloflite was also able to call the cellphone he left in the terminal, which was to his amazement, sent home by an anonymous stranger

The_Lore_Master: along with the map.

The_Lore_Master: anyways... going back...

The_Lore_Master: Soloflite transmitted the message to The Rhapper successfully... "Meet me at the FIRST stop in Baguio"

the_acolyte: (lucky for him)

The_Lore_Master: ...which would have worked...

The_Lore_Master: had not the bus been delayed by around 2-3 hours

The_Lore_Master: by the time Soloflite arrived at the FIRST terminal, he had no way of knowing
if The Rhapper had indeed been there already...

The_Lore_Master: Hold on. Brb.

The_Lore_Master: where was I?

The_Lore_Master: oh yes... Soloflite's charms are still to be used my friend... :D

the_acolyte: (soloflite and The Rhapper's star-crossed meeting)

the_acolyte: (go on)

The_Lore_Master: Soloflite, realizes that The Rhapper has either gone on without him, or have waited then gave up...

The_Lore_Master: he goes on a quest to find the mythical path to Rusticaville himself...

The_Lore_Master: and so... lugging around his numerous bags and other stuff... he goes to the nearest taxi driver...

The_Lore_Master: "Bossing, alam nyo po yung Rusticaville?"

the_acolyte: (aww. a solitary journey. solo flight, indeed.)

The_Lore_Master: "...rustika...bil"

The_Lore_Master: Soloflite groans inwardly. but it WAS close enough...

The_Lore_Master: "Opo. rustikabil... alam nyo yun?"

The_Lore_Master: "A... oo alam ko yun... sa may.... saan nga ba yan?"

The_Lore_Master: "Ser. ndi ko po sigurado tlaga"

The_Lore_Master: "Alam ko na yan! nakita ko yung bandera nyan!" Later our hero will realize that Rusticaville is just a big house that gets rent out every once in a while... and no banners

The_Lore_Master: But. Soloflite's danger sense is still wary...

The_Lore_Master: "Boss... kung sigurado kayo, sabay ako sa inyo..."

The_Lore_Master: "...dahil kung hindi, tapos iikot lang po tayo... " Our hero applies his Charm Monster Special ability... "...wala po ako pambayad pabalik"

The_Lore_Master: "Sigurado ako!!! Malapit lang yan. Pag ndi natin mahanap.. ibabalik kita!"

the_acolyte: (naks.)

The_Lore_Master: The Charm Monster ability does not seem to work on pretty girls though... going back...

The_Lore_Master: ...and thus, for the next 30 minutes, Soloflite is given a free joyride around baguio looking for the wild goose chase that was Rusticaville...

the_acolyte: (hehe)

The_Lore_Master: ...30 minutes later. Soloflite is back at the terminal, and apologizing profusely to the driver who shakes his head and drives away.

The_Lore_Master: ...our devious hero THEN does the same thing to the next TWO taxi drivers...

the_acolyte: (it's a good thing he didn't get lynched)

The_Lore_Master: It is a mystery indeed... until now, the Baguio taxi drivers still speak of the
freeloading ghost of Rusticaville in hushed tones...

The_Lore_Master: anyway, after 3 tries with taxis, our hero realizes that he needs to find a
different way to find it.

the_acolyte: (freeloading ghost of rusticaville. haha.)

The_Lore_Master: so he goes to to the town proper and finds the nearest telephone and sends yet another pager message to a TLS friend

The_Lore_Master: "Im in baguio. Im lost. Help"

The_Lore_Master: luck would have it, this TLS friend DID NOT join the alcoholic exercise in baguio and was, in actuality... in MANILA

The_Lore_Master: let us call him... the Crusader

The_Lore_Master: the Crusader, in parallel, realizes our hero's dillemma and calls up the folks in
Rusticaville... here is their conversation...

The_Lore_Master: "....ugh... Crusader, we all have major hangovers... what the hell are u calling about?"

The_Lore_Master: "Soloflite is in baguio... he's lost. he doesnt know where you are."

The_Lore_Master: "...ughh... ok. click"

The_Lore_Master: I kid you not, That was how it happened...

The_Lore_Master: in the meantime, Soloflite is scouring the bagiuo telephone branches looking vainly for an entry called "Rusticaville". Again, there is no real Rusticaville... as it is only a home rented and marketed as rusticaville in manila

The_Lore_Master: after 1 hr and feeling a bit tired of slugging around twenty pounds of belongings, soloflite decides to go to... the post office

The_Lore_Master: in the meantime, the TLS folks have recovered from their hangover...

The_Lore_Master: "Who were u talking to this morning?"

The_Lore_Master: "Oh... The Crusader... ummm... something urgent i think"

The_Lore_Master: "Ahh i remember now! Soloflite's lost!!!"

The_Lore_Master: The TLS people look at each other...

The_Lore_Master: and come up with their unanimous response...

The_Lore_Master: "Poor baguio."

The_Lore_Master: Back to the teambuilding...

the_acolyte: (haha)

The_Lore_Master: In the meantime, The post office, Soloflite realizes... is closed on Saturdays... hence he then hikes towards... The police station

The_Lore_Master: ...At the police station, Soloflite explains his story. As usual, nobody has ever heard of Rusticaville...

The_Lore_Master: so Soloflite looks for a map of baguio and points towards the area to where he believes rusticaville is (he did see the map remember?)

The_Lore_Master: And again... the police officers tell him... there is NO Rusticaville there.

The_Lore_Master: Soloflite even calls up the individual police outposts in the area... and still no Rusticaville

The_Lore_Master: finally, our hero, dejected decides to return to Manila and record his first REAL failure in life...

The_Lore_Master: ...and as he walks towards the bus station... an idea comes into mind which re-energizes him in a mad dash BACK to the police station...

The_Lore_Master: ...Soloflite then CALLS the most logical police outpost (Based on the police map, the map given to him and of course his uncanny luck)... and asks... "May malaking bus ba na nakapark dyan?"

The_Lore_Master: ...and yes there is! "May sticker ng ....? Paki-kausap ng driver?"

The_Lore_Master: And the police, charmed as well by our swashbuckling hero DRIVE him towards the place known as ... RUSTICAVILLE

The_Lore_Master: ...THE END...

The_Lore_Master: methinks there really is an angel xero and a demon murphy :D

the_acolyte: methinks you're right. :D

The_Lore_Master: helluva sparring match between them eh? :D

the_acolyte: helluva, yeah. :p

the_acolyte: oh hey. got to fly.

The_Lore_Master: ok. bye

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

A Sick Post

I hate the common cold.

It is too easy to catch, too easy to spread, and just damn hard to get rid of.

Its bad enough to cloud your thinking, but too weak as an excuse for getting the day off.

It shows in your eyes, clutters up your coordination, burns your throat and nose, messes up your tastebuds and makes em other body parts hurt all over.

It is the body's version of Murphy's Law.

And worse: Theres nothing you can do about it.

Pills, potions, chicken soup, hot tea, lizard tails... nothing, nothing has ever worked for me. The common cold is devious enough to make you feel all wobbly the whole day, while making sure that the runny nose gets you an indecent night's sleep.

It is the most sick of the human sicknesses.

With other diseases, like Cancer, at least you know that you just gotta zap up a few body parts to lead a normal life again. Appendicitis just needs you to cut up a little organ before it explodes, while sprains or broken bones just need you to cast up or amputate the damn leg.

The common cold on the other hand, makes you ponder as to what other disease you would rather have, or when you should start playing Russian Roulette.

Simply evil.

Someday, I'll find a cure for this bug called the common cold.

Or just legalize the use of it as an excuse not to go to work.


Pardon the unusual rant.

I'm sick.

Well, yeah, I guess you knew that already.