Saturday, July 31, 2004

My thousand words

Taken from a highrise Bangkok building





The pinky's on the wheel and the elbow's shiftin gear...

I overdid myself this week.

Somehow, i was able to do the following things at the SAME time yesterday:

1. Drive like hell towards my next meeting.

2. Chomp on my lunch... a Jollibee Champ or Sip my Diet Coke (yes, Champ and Diet Coke is a very nice combination)

3. Talk to someone on the phone

4. Text someone on the other phone

5. Fix my Tie

6. ...and dodge countless near-fatal collissions with suicidal jeepneys, arrogant buses and your typical bastard drivers in edsa...

Until now im still not so sure how i did it. :)
_____________________

In other news, Ateneo pulled off yet another feat of sheer chamba with LA finishing off Adamson with a helluva 3-pointer at 2 secs left. Lucky bastards.

And yeah, Chinee looks better each game :)

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Chocoholics anonymous

June 1, 2004-

Dear Diary. Today is my first day in Chocoholics Anonymous. It was my Dads idea. He said i was getting chubby na daw. Its a one-month vacation stay in their center in the highlands of Tagaytay. When I come back, I wouldn't be so addicted to chocolates anymore. They're very nice. They told us that we shouldn't worry about the training. And oh yeah, they gave each of us three Big blocks of Cadbury's Almonds. But we cant tell anyone about anything that happens here. No Proooblem! :)


June 4, 2004-

Dear Diary. Today, i sat beside my crush. He said "Hi Xara" and offered me one of his Cadbury's. Coolness. He's soooo sweet. And to think that they just give us Two Cadbury's a day. Im gonna love this whole month.

June 9, 2004-

Dear Diary. Today, I think im adjusting to the life here. Ricardo is proving to be a very nice guy, sharing his Willy with me. Willy Wonka i mean. They dont give us Cadburys na... Its so sad. I like Cadbury pa naman.

June 12, 2004-

Dear Diary. Today I had my first taste of Cloud Nine. Its nice naman pala e. I thought it was kadiri at first, but it was very good. But i still like Willy Wonka better. Ricardo said he's going to share Cloud Nine with me tomorrow because im so cute daw. Hihihihi


June 19, 2004-

Dear Diary. Today, I got mad at Ricardo. He said I had a flat top daw. E may boobs naman ako ah! But he apologized na. He said he only wanted to share his Flat Tops with me. Hmph! Yun naman pala e.

June 22, 2004-

Dear Diary. Today, I fought with Ricardo again over a kiss. A Hershey's Kiss. Would you believe that they are now giving us only ONE F*CKING KISS a DAY??!! He's so swapang he wont give me his Hersheys Kiss, e I gave him a lot of kisses na this week. This is stupid talaga!!!

June 26, 2004-

Dear Diary. Today, I broke up with Ricardo na. Guess what im holding in my hand? It's a half-melted M&M. Thats right. The jerk wasnt planning to give me his M&M. I had to take it from him by force! Men are really horrible. Huhuhuhuhu

June 29, 2004-
Dear Diary. Today... ahh what the hell! Sobra na ito. They have denied me even my daily M&M!!! Ayoko na. I dont like it here anymore!!!!!



Warden's Log. July 3, 2004. Found the body of the escaped girl deep in the forest. The bitch must have been dying of hunger... her mouth was stuffed with mud! Damn, she was a hot one too.

END

__________________





To joy- ...And that, my friend, is the difference between a diary and a log ;)
Bridget Jones : Diary
Picard : Log

To Sarah and Richard: ... got the idea from Sarah's weblog and i just HAD to use 'Ricardo' hahaha :)


Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Misery Loves Our Country

*Warning: Intensely Racist Post


Schadenfreude- (sh├Ądn-froid)n. Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.


Thats my favorite German word next to Ubermensche. Given the numerous wars in German history, especially the last one where they took too much pride in the Aryan race they wanted to kill off everyone else, Im not surprised they came up with ONE word to explain a feeling that we usually and very sheepishly grope for words to explain.

Actually, im more surprised it didn't come from us. The closest we have is in three words: "Buti nga sayo."

*roughly meaning "good for you" except that its usually said in a bitchy way after something unforeseen happens to you (like falling off a helicopter)


In this delightfully sick society of ours, where talangka is king, politicians stab each other in the back and noontime/reality shows just cant wait to show their contestant's booboos, its hard not to relate to the Germans.

The way I see it, it is part of our life, our culture and our heritage. We Filipino's should stand tall and look down with glee at the idiocities we deferred to everyone else...

We dont get killed in our highways, unlike the deadly Autobahn. We can just cross anytime we want and expect cars to screech to a halt when we walk by. EDSA, C5 or wherever.  It's so safe we dont even need pedestrian lights.

We dont get killed in Iraq, unlike our unfortunate Allies. We value the pinoy above all things, and you can be sure that the government will help you out when someone wants to chop your head off. At least, when you're not in the philippines.

We dont think we're ever alone. Theres always a relative somewhere within a hundred miles, or at least a kabayan you can treat as a brother wherever you go, or at least someone you can talk tagalog to while you bitch about someone behind his back :)

We dont have to pay an arm and a leg to own a car unlike some other countries i know. Well, maybe an arm OR a leg, but its much cheaper here to get a car than lets say... Singapore where after buying your first car, you'll realize in two years that it costs as much just to register

We dont have to walk as much as the typical First World Country. We have jeeps that stop at every home or building and tricycles that go anywhere from highways to sidestreets, rain or shine, flood or no flood.

We dont need a title to live like European Royalty. Well, not exactly royalty, but every typical middle-class family has 1 to 3 maids here and/or a 'boy'... and they can do more things than the typical Butler.

We dont need homes for the aged unlike some States i know.  I mean, as long as you have living relatives, you will always be cared for. We dont dump our old folks in communal retirement homes like in other First World societies.

We dont look like grizzled war veterans until we really are grizzled war veterans unlike some Caucasian races.  We're a naturally babyfaced and young-looking people.   Which is why facial cream doesnt sell that much here.

We dont care if we die young... unlike most civilizations in general. The more cholesterol, the better the pinoy meal. Sisig, kare kare, crispy pata, lechon... mmm... name it! Definitely a notch above indian veggie food.

We dont say eeeew in fear factor unlike some sissy white folks out there.  Blood Stew? Unborn Duck? Bayawak Sashimi? Cmon! We eat that stuff for breakfast. With beer.

We dont drink piss beer unlike our unfortunate Asian neighbors.  I mean, i tried Singapore's tiger beer and that other one from malaysia... ugh. Give me Redhorse or SanMig any day.

We dont need to sunbathe in the nude unlike the typical Caucasian woman (who gets skin cancer instead.) We just watch them ;)

We dont go around cavorting with ugly women... at least not like the typical white guys in Makati Avenue. We have taste.  Damn good taste.

We dont look like a bunch of other relatives out there unlike the Billions of Yellow, White and Black races. We have more variety in the way we look compared to our typical Asian neighbors like Singapore and China.  I mean, have you ever seen a full-blooded chinese that doesnt look chinese? We're probably the only race that have Filipinos that don't look Filipino.   We have it all--  Mestiza, tsinita, morena, eurasian.... name it!   The world is evolving into us, baby.

We dont take shit from no one. We are proud to be filipino, because it so much sucks not to be one.

______________________________

In other news, I just found out that I really do have a MiniMe...





Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Sins of the Brother

I've created a monster!!!

My 12 year old brother is starting to become a wisecracking juvenile asshole.

I wonder who could have influenced him like that?




Evil Quip #1

Lil' Brother (LB): Someone spat at my gay busmate while we were on the bus on the way home. From the outside.

Me: Really? Wow. (Silence. What does one say at such a tale?) What did you guys do?

LB: We laughed at him. Sayang naman yung nangyari kung ndi namin pagtawanan...




Evil Quip #2

LB: I wish there were another brownout.

Me:  Why?

LB:  So i have an excuse to eat all the ice cream before they melt.
(this is shockingly familiar)


Que Horror! Where did he learn this stuff??! Whatever happened to the cute little baby brother i used as a great excuse to initiate conversations with cute girls?

Oh well. Times have indeed changed. Now i have to keep this blog away from him at all costs. I've sinned enough in this lifetime. Cant make any more monsters...


Demented Memory #1

Lil Brother in a suit: *Bump*

Cute Girl: Hey! Watch where you're goi... *realizes LB* Awww... cute...

SoloFlite in a suit: I call him "MiniMe" (yes, with the fingers and all)

Cute Girl: Awww... cute

Soloflite: Run along now lil Brother (wink wink) 

Demented Memory #2

Lil Brother: *Bump*

Cute Girl: Hey! Watch where you're goi...

SoloFlite to the Rescue: (picks up brother) Im sorry. He has a bad habit of bumping into cute girls like you...

Cute Girl: Awww... cute

Soloflite: (drops brother) Run along now lil Brother (wink wink)




On the lighter side of MiniMe's... I swiped this from wytchgurl's cool blog.

metamorphosis
You're Metamorphosis of Narcissus!

You're bright, philosophical and creative, but you
don't always get the attention you deserve.


Which Salvador Dali Painting Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

That Dali guy's pretty good...

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Trivia Muna

Just read an analyst's report today. Apparently Globe and Smart are gonna be reaping in uber dineros this year.

The latest statistics show that we have a whopping 28 MILLION subscribers just between the two telco giants. And Sun Cell targets 1 Million this year.

So given 82 Million filipinos... we have 35% or more than 1 out of every 3 filipinos has a celphone.
________________________

This may not sound too great until you realize that 70% of all filipinos are below the poverty line. Thus explains the number of janitors, drivers, maids and other blue collared workers who are kitikitexters...
________________________

And so there. Philippine society redefined the basic necessities to food, clothing, shelter, sex and prepaid cards. They can choose any four.
________________________

They can't not eat.
They can't go around naked.
They can't not text. It's too addicting.
And they can't take out our national pasttime.

Shelter has to go.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Its time for some target practice archers...

Im upset about a couple of upsets...

First we lose our first ever opening match in like SIXTEEN years to none other than our dear Atenean friends... Ugh...

And now this??!!!

For the second time this season we kept sniping at the high flying avians from the 3pt area even while we were on top, and like in the Ateneo game, missing horribly (1 of 16!!) for our first loss to Adamson in EIGHT years!!!

You should've seen Luigi's ear-to-ear grin in the papers... Damn... And yeah, Adamson's suspending classes on monday.

Someone please give our archers corrective lenses, especially TY and Yeo. We cant seem to shoot down any of them blasted birds recently...

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Looking For A Hero

Best Read after the What IF scenario.

The Presidential Office

(Gma sitting alone in her presidential office)

GMA : Oh shit, the SONA is fast approaching. What do i do? I need something to spice it up...

(Fairy Godmother pops out of nowhere. Hey, crazy shit happens in this country.)

Fairy Godmother (FG): I see you are distressed little one. What can i do for you?

GMA: (pleasant surprise) Fairy Godmother! My SONA is just around the corner and I need to spice it up somehow to cover up the stupid things i promised but for the life of me i have no idea how to fulfill...

FG: But Thumbelina... since when did you start talking politics?

GMA: Er. Im GMA. Hello? President of the Philippines?

FG: (Look of shock) Oh. I could have sworn...

GMA: (famous taray look) Hmph! Anyway, for my SONA. i think I need to give the filipino people... a hero!

FG: No problem Thu...er GMA. (waves her magic wand) Bibibity Babbity Boo!

(Going the Distance Background music starts playing. Hercules pops up.)

Hercules: You need. A Hero. I am. A hero. (Smiles)

GMA: (Turns to fairy godmother) Er... you know, i need someone a bit more... modern?

FG: Whoops! Sorry (waves wand. Hercules vanishes in a puff of dust) Hmmm... Ah i know! (Waves wand again)

(Gargantuan figure materializes)

Big Green Monster : Grrrraaaahhh!!! Hulk Smash!

GMA: Mike, Honey? Is that you?

FG: Er... This one I dont like. (Dismisses The Hulk) How about someone a bit more local?

(FG does her thing again. Now A raggedly dressed man pops out from the smoke)

GMA: Er... please dont tell me. (groans)

Mang Pandoy: Magandang gabi po?

(Pandoy, Pandoy! PandooooOOOooy! Themesong starts playing)

Mang Pandoy: (walks with a swagger with hands in his hip pockets) Sama sama tayong magpandoy ng panibago nating bukas.

GMA: Fairy Godmother! I know he's the filipino everman and all, but He's just too... creepy! He reminds me too much of someone!

FG: (Shrugs. Waves wand again. Pandoy is gone.) So who do you want?

GMA: Who else is there? Tell me first before you start summonning them.

FG: Okay. Hmmm... Volta?

GMA: ...and remind people of the impending Power crisis in two years? Nope.

FG: ...Lastikman?

GMA: ...er... Lets not bring up plastic at this time. The Iraq situation's pretty touchy right now.

FG: Gagamboy? Spiders are in right now.

GMA: Anyone else? Just between the two of us, I have a really bad case of arachnaphobia. I had a bad experience with spiders when i was a kid.

FG: Really? It bit you?

GMA: I uh... fell off one.

FG: (shaking her head) I wont even ask how. How about Captain Barbel?

GMA: Er. He's already in my senatorial lineup remember? Plus, I swear he has a beerbelly now.

FG: ...Wengweng?

GMA: No. People will notice he's taller than me.

FG: ...Booba? Darna? I could have them do the Otso otso for you if you want.

GMA: Been there. Done that. Im kinda tired of the skimpily clad heroines gyrating wildly on stage routine. It wouldn't be a surprise if i use the same tactics again. I need something new this year.

FG: ...Manny Pacquiao? He's the people's champ. Perfect source for inspiration.

GMA: Nah Too much of a fighter. The last thing i want is for the masa to get excited in that way. I've got a ton of critics just goading them for another EDSA sequel. Lets just pacify them. Maybe someone who people can relate to, that just allows everyone to step over him. An ordinary doormat who we give some sort of heroic appeal?

FG: Hmmm.. Ah i know... give me ur phone.

(GMA hands over the phone)

GMA: Who do you have in mind?

FG: You want an everman? I'll give you an everman. A regular pinoy hero.

GMA: Really? A regular hero? What did he do?

FG: Well.. He fathered a lot of pinoys.

GMA: Er... I dont NEED more filipinos. It would actually be nice to send off our excess baggage to countries like Iraq so we dont have to worry about them anymore right?

FG: Hmmm... Yeah. something like that.

GMA: And i want someone who isn't the aggressive type.

FG: Yup. not a complaint from this guy. Threaten to chop his head off, and not even a whimper from him. I tell you, the masa will love him! And if you just act as if he's the greatest hero around, maybe give him a house and lot, maybe some medals, make a movie about him with someone like Lito Lapid... they'll believe you.

GMA: And what makes him so heroic again?

FG: Nothing. He's just a 'victim' of the system. You know, like the male version of Judy Anne. The masa LOVES Judy Anne because of that. I mean, definitely not for her looks...

GMA: Hmm... And i can just parade him in my SONA?

FG: Of course. He's an unemployed bum you can hire indefinitely.

GMA: Sounds great! So who are you calling?

FG : An old friend.

(talks to the phone)

FG: Hello? Ahmed? You still have Angelo with you?


END
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A thousand pardons for the delay. Micster's fiends and devious muffin trees killed off hundreds of overtiming braincells last night... which later led to the ponement of this post :) As this is my first blog that i didnt finish in one sitting, any lapses in the story's logical jumps are because of this.

Hahaha Thanks mic! ;)

Sacre Bleu!

Which Marvel Character Am I?



A swashbuckling charmer with badboyish tendencies...
The solo flier with the ability to excite anything he touches...
And the devils luck in card games.


Yup, sounds like me :)

Sorry, the braincells still recuperating from the last post... :)

Monday, July 19, 2004

What could have happened...

Warning:  Adult language and potentially offensive material.  This post was done on a BAD day.  Believe me.
 
 
 
What if these happened instead in the Iraqi Hostage Crisis?
 
Scene 1: Saudi Arabia

Boss :  Okay, Angelo, your next assignment is delivering goods to the war-torn country of Iraq.
 
Angelo :  Iraq?  No way dude.  They'd kidnap me and chop my head off.
 
Boss : I'll double your salary.
 
Angelo : Tang ina mo.
 
Boss : Excuse me?
 
Angelo : i said, its still not worth it.  I love my head.
 
Boss : Okay. TRIPLE your salary.
 
Angelo:  Quadruple.
 
Boss:  Tang ina mo.
 
Angelo : Well, since you put it quite nicely... Okay.
 

Scene 2:   The Iraqi Highway
Iraqi Masked Man1 (IMM1) - F*cking bulgarians didnt even flinch
 
IMM2 :  Yeah. Those koreans too.  I tell you Ahmed, this hostage taking doesn't pay.
 
IMM1 :  Shh.  Dont call me by my first name. The american spies are everywhere.
 
IMM2 : Sorry Ahmed.
 
IMM1 : *glares at him*  Hey! Whats that!  It's a truck from Saudi!
 
IMM2 : What luck!  The driver's a Filipino.  They are America's biggest ally in the South Pacific! Lets Get him!
 
*Struggle happens.  The Iraqi Masked men grab Angelo from the truck, beat senseless and tie him up.*
 
Scene 3:  The Iraqi Hideout
IMM1 : Are you awake?
 
Angelo : Tang ina nyo!
 
IMM2 : *slaps angelo* i didnt like the way you said it.  What does that mean?
 
Angelo : Good morning. In Filipino.
 
IMM1 : Oh, sorry.

Scene 4:  A worldwide broadcast from the Iraqi hideout
IMM1 :  People of the philippines.  Behold, we have in our hands one of your sons, Angelo dela Cruz.
 
Filipino Public :  *Gasps!*

IMM1 :  We want freedom for our country.  We also want to chop off this man's head.  But we are reasonable.  Withdraw your vast horde of infidels staying indefinitely from our motherland or else...
 
*IMM2 whispers in IMM1 's ear.  IMM's eyes light up.
 
IMM1 :  My mistake.  Withdraw your measly fifty-one troops who im sure would not be able to make a dent in the US offense,  one month ahead of schedule or we shall chop his bloody head off!  We shall give you two days to decide.  *Pause*   Tang Ina nyo.
 

Scene 5:  Presidential Palace
 
*President GMA is holding her phone in one hand and talking animatedly with the person on the other line

GMA:  No, of course we will not give in to their demands.  Terrorism is an act the Philippine government does not encourage.  Rest assured, we will never pull out our troops.  And yes, I know the extremes to which you guys will do if we chicken out.

*Mike Arroyo enters the room.  GMA Puts down the phone and sighs

Mike:  Hi hon, who was that on the phone?  George Bush?

GMA : Jay Leno
 

Scene 6: 4 hours later at a Radio station
Commentator :  And you believe we should pull out of Iraq?

Bishop:  Yes.  It is immoral that we are there in the first place.  They should save the life of that man.  Screw the americans!

Commentator :  Er... Wouldn't that give the wrong message?  They are terrorists after all?

Bishop:   No we shall show them that the Filipino people values life above such petty things as keeping promises, alliances and not negotiating with terrorists.

Commentator:  You do know that the last bishop would have said "Let us pray for wisdom in these dark times" and light up candles and set up large prayer rallies for Angelo.

Bishop:  Screw him.  I'm bishop now.

Erap: *in the background* Ibagsak si GMA!


Scene 7:  The Iraqi Hideout
 
*IMM is talking animatedly on the phone
 
IMM1 :  You pull out or we cut off his head!

Voice on the Phone (VOP) : Can we at least talk to him so we know he's alive?
 
IMM1 :  Ok *Gives the phone to angelo
 
VOP : How are you angelo?
 
Angelo : Tang ina mo.
 
IMM1: *chuckles*  Idiot. It's evening in the philippines
 
VOP : Magsasalita ako sa tagalog para hindi nila alam ang sasabihin mo. 
 
Angelo : Ayoko na dito! Ambaho baho, ndi naliligo tong mga to. Gusto ko nang mamatay!
 
VOP : *pause* Hmmm... Nasaan ka.  Ipapasalvage natin yan sa mga kaibigan nating Kano. Walang kwenta mga pinadala natin dito e.
 
Angelo :  Ayus. nandito ako sa 911 Iraqi Hideout, Baghdad Drive.
 
VOP : Ayus. 
 
IMM1 : Are you done? 
 
VOP:  Yes. We will pull out.   Tang Ina mo.
 
IMM2:  It's Good Evening.  idiot.
 

Scene 8:  4 hours later at another Radio Station
 
Commentator: ...and we have confirmed that malacanang been getting very good results with the negotiations.
 
Angelo's relative (AR):  I dont believe that.  They should tell us what is happening.  We shouldn't have news black outs. The country NEEDS to know what GMA will do.
 
Commentator: ...but it will hamper the negotiations and probably endanger the hostage.
 
AR:  Basta! We need to know!  Yadda Yadda.  We need to know!
 
Erap : *in the background* Ibagsak si GMA!
 

Scene 9: 2 hrs later in malacanang
*GMA is preparing a broadcast for nationwide TV
 
GMA:  Good evening my countrymen.  I would like to update you on what my legitimate government is doing for Angelo who will be my representative when i give the SONA next week.   There will be no pull out.  I repeat.  There will be no pullout.  We have pinpointed their hide out at...

*reads paper*

...911 Iraqi Hideout, Baghdad Drive.   American strike teams are now on the way to exterminate them... Salamat.  Pagpapapatayin natin ang mga gagong yon. Mabuhay tayong lahat. Mabuhay ako.  Ang galing ko talaga.
 


Scene 10: The Iraqi hideout
*The iraqis are looking at the TV broadcast from manila
 
IMM2:  What do u mean, Ahmed, when you say that I have a red dot on my forehead?
 
END



Sunday, July 18, 2004

A Demented Thought

With all these issues surrounding the Iraq hostage a demented idea has come to mind...
 
I wanna be Angelo Dela Cruz
 
Seriously.  I would have wanted to look the terrorists in the eye and shout "Dont do it GMA!  Remember the Filipino Pride!" in front of all those watching Filipinos.
 
Then if they do cut my head off, i'd be made a hero.
 
If i didnt get my head cut off, I'd still be a hero.
 
In any case, I'd have a film made after me, my family will be taken cared of and my kids will forever idolize my heroics.
 
Oh well, just a thought.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Thoughts in SoloTude

Yes its confirmed.  Yes, it's final. 
I heard it from my usual press sources last night and it came as a total shock. 
This is really, really bad. 
 
On monday, my picture will be flashed on National TV and my story will be told to all... 
  
  Adrian : The only Idiot in Manila who has yet to see Spiderman 2
 
Everyone, absolutely, everyone has watched it.  My friends, co-workers, our maids, our drivers, the janitors, the taxi drivers, everyone.  Heck, I thought i even heard it playing in the background while the Iraqis were threatening to chop of Angelo Dela Cruz's head.  (Now we know why they love masks that much.)
 
Damn, i need to reactivate my social life.  I realized that the last film i saw in a theater was... (drum roll) ... The Return of the King!  
_____________________
 
Not that i miss it of course.
 
I have been retreating to my ivory tower the past few weeks, foregoing the usual weekend gimmicks and instead, (besides bloghopping and posting random comments on random sites)viewing the massive amounts of DVD backlog I've been accumulating from my almost kleptomaniacally impulsive purchases.
 
Granted, most of the films i've watched so far could be barely classified as masterpieces (btw- Do Not, I repeat, Do Not buy Starship Troopers 2), im quite happy with the selections so far. In fact, most have actually given me a lot of ideas and inspiration.
__________________
 
Another boring lesson in history
 
Over the past few weeks i've watched some "historically accurate" films like The Patriot, Braveheart, Gladiator and The 300 Spartans.  It made me realize how much we really have understand our history so we dont repeat it.  
 
Interestingly though,  the only subject which I absolutely detested besides Filipino back in school was History.  This was partly because most of my history teachers were nerdy bookazoids who had no presentation skills whatsoever.  In fact, the only stuff i actually remembered in our highschool history class was that the world-record for the most number of "Noh?"'s per hour was being held by our own history teacher.  Not sure if she got a prize for it though...
 
The other reason i hated history class was that it was based on Rote learning.  This meant, that instead of us picturing the actual events that happened,  realizing the sacrifices and the brilliance of the past generation, and making us remember that we stand on the shoulders of giants... they focused on making us remember stupid trivia such as "What happened in June 21, 1745?" or "What was the name of Andres Bonifacio's second cousin's son-in-law's nursemaid that helped the katipuneros in their Pampanga campaign?". 

Damn useless crap.  My brain just kept rejecting that junk.  If it weren't for my luck with multiple choices and my magical 4-sided die, i'd probably have flunked ALL of my history tests.
_________________
 
The 300 Spartans (1962)
 
Forget Troy and the greatest war fought over a single woman.   Forget Achilles and his BradPittian Invincibility.   There's a greater yet lesser-known hero in Greek history named King Leonidas who made his name in the battle of  Thermopylae.   Apparently, there was a film about it and it's conveniently available via my pirate friends in Makati Cinema. 
 
I first heard of the 300 spartans in The Last Samurai when Tom Cruise brought it up in a discussion with Katsumoto.   It was basically King Leonidas and his Three Hundred Spartans against, get this, TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND Persians.  Again, 300 vs 200,000.   Notice the difference in the number of zeroes.  (Some Greek historians contest that the number was 2.6 Million persians.  Wag na kayo.  Sobra na yon.)
 
At first glance, it was truly of mindboggling odds of almost 700 to 1 (Trivia: The restaurant scene in Kill Bill 1, The Bride killed or maimed 57 assailants and she was a bloody mess afterwards.) 
 
But it was a very narrow pass, and there were other greeks as well defending that pass (Athenians, Thespians...etc) totaling to almost 4000.  Apparently, since the Spartans were seen as the Greek's main defense and did most of the killing, they were most credited for holding off the attack. 
 
Then again, they didnt win that battle. They just held them off, wave after wave, for 10 days (probably more if they hadn't been betrayed) while the rest of the unified Greek armies prepared the bulk of the defense.   In the last two days, they were down to less than 300 spartans and around 1100 other greek soldiers.  
 
Then, they were betrayed, outflanked and soon dead to the last man.
____________________
 
Weird. 
 
While watching the movie, i was secretly wishing that we could have had something like that in our history.  
 
Andres Bonifacio, bolting from the revolution at the last minute, seemed like such a wimp compared to Leonidas of Sparta or the Gladiator-General Maximus.   The KKK  didnt decisively win the Spanish revolution, the American resistance was bought out, and the victory in the Japanese war was credited to the return of General MacArthur.  In fact, the only Filipino in history who had a major dream in changing our country and saw it through was probably Ferdinand Marcos.  But we know what happened to him.
 
I mean, is it really something to be proud of?  A country with a half-baked history?  Then again, our ancestors weren't crazed prisoners and con-men like those of Australia's.  Sigh.  Well, we can't change the past.  Just learn from them.   

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Btw speaking of Greek...  i took this test...

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla  

hades 

So umm...

Hades IS a nice guy right? :)




Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Living for the moment

That pretty much sums up what i think about what happened to the Angelo Dela Cruz brouhaha. Personally, I think we should have just upped the ante and responded by sending more troops. Then lets see them try that hostage stunt again.
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Caution: Another fiery entry inspired by tonight's news

We are a petty nation

Why else would GMA back down on a well-established international policy of not giving in to terrorists demands? Knowing her, she does not care for a single countryman whos life was considered lost the moment he was abducted by the Iraqis. But she gave in because of pressure from the clamor of soft-hearted activists who are either up to no good or cannot tell the difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking and shifted the blame on his impending doom from the evil terrorists to the government of La Gloria.

Peacekeeping is not always good. The guardia civil kept the peace, but beneath the surface was a boiling mass of anger ready to explode. And in this case, its much worse. Yes, we saved one man's life, but we endangered the rest of the 85 million filipinos. It is a dangerous precedent that'll just give ideas to the rest of the terrorist federations on how to better negotiate with our petty nation. We also showed the world how little of a backbone we have.

Whereas other countries would have children going to museums and zoos for fieldtrips, cultivating their appreciation of art and culture, we have... noontime shows. God knows what the kids learn from there.

It doesnt stop there. This distorted culture of ours prides itself in texting, singing, dancing, boxing and stripping our way to stardom. And education has taken a backseat to all these things. Where else can a man who basically scorned the educational system hope to occupy the nation's highest post?

We have no heroes. Only superstars. Rizal is no longer the vogue. The advent of the telenovelas, reality TV and inane Lunchtime shows corrupted our values and sense of individuality. We are enamored by beauty, skill and eloquence, focusing nothing on the true strength of character. This generation has become too soft, too focused with the wrong kinds of dreams.

We have lost our edge as an english speaking country ever since some misguided "nationalists" decided to standardize on filipino as the learning instruction in the schools. Add to that the fact that texting basically kills any spelling aptitude we have left, we find ourselves becoming less and less the Little Brown American Brothers we once were. It has been so bad that the call centers are finding it more and more difficult to find new recruits who could speak unhalting conversational english.

We are dying as a country. The masa clamors for the government to help them... to dole out more food, to create more jobs, create more housing. Always asking more and more, doing less and less and procreating more and more. But still saving up for prepaid cards.

The future is grim. For one, we're going to end up in a major power crisis in two years. Why? Because Meralco/Napocor cant upgrade their plants. Why? Because their rates cant increase. Why? because the government doesnt have the backbone to implement any increase? Why because they are so scared of a lot of people getting angry.

Petty reasons. Petty lives. Petty country.

It is said that in the absence of a great dream, pettiness prevails. It grieves me to know that there is no higher purpose in what we are doing. There is no desire to prove everyone wrong, no desire to leave a legacy for the next generation. No one is angry enough to do more than stand idly by. They just get fed up, pack up, and leave.

I feel so helpless about what is happening. I feel a passion welling up inside wanting to shout out to the world that I want to help. I am sick of our society. I truly, truly want to change this.

But i dont know how.

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Disclaimer: This is a lament, not a rant

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

The Last Rant

That does it. Im through wasting my time with useless bickering.

From now on, I openly declare my hatred of complaining about the same things over and over again.

Its useless, never accomplishing anything, magnifing the problem and keeping you a step behind in getting the solution.
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I hate the weaklings around me.
Bitching about the same set of things everyday, hoping that the next morning when they wake up, something miraculous will happen and their lives will be forever transformed.

Yet they do nothing to change their lives.
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I hate the cowards of our society.
They were given the opportunity to be the country's hope, to be a shining light in this darkness, the golden boys and girls of our heritage who should have been the cornerstones of our institutions.

Yet they choose not to live for our country.
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I hate the drifters in our institutions
They see how much lacking we are in education, the arts, history and patriotism. They are given a chance to change, to believe that something new can be made of our old institutions.

Yet they choose not to change anything
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I hate the apathetic citizenry.
They see the abuses in our society, the problems in our systems and the pains of our everyday life. They live each life fully aware of what kind of sick society we live in.

Yet they act as if everything is okay.
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I hate the leeches and parasites in our government.
They want to stay in power no matter how useless or even catastrophic they are to the country. They cause or national debt to balloon to unstable proportions, allow our institutions to backslide to the stone ages and aggravate the peace and order in our society.

Yet they cling on nonetheless.
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I hate the perpetual antagonists.
Pointing out fault after fault in our government and society, throwing monkey wrenches into ongoing discussions and projects, demanding exceedingly ridiculous achievements within impossibly short periods of time and constantly bemoaning about the good old days.

Yet they refuse to do anything productive in return.
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I hate the tambays of society.
They do nothing but laze around, showing of their supposedly manly arrogance at everyone passing by, complaining about how miserable their lives are and how unfair life had been to them.

Yet they refuse to accept the fact that it was they, and their choices that made them who they are.
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I hate the heads of our union system.
Wailing each day about how unfair the treatment is to the Filipino workers, and demanding greater and greater concessions from the business sector, onesidedly and deliberately forgetting that without the investors, there would be no workers.

Yet they goad the masa on, creating strike after strike and rally after rally to the detriment of our economy.

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I hate useless relatives who believe that by having a tie of blood with you, you somehow owe them something and demand that they be given their share of what you have worked so hard for.

Yet they do nothing for themselves.

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I hate the great pretenders of society - Evil religious leaders, the puppeteers, the media greats-- giving false hope to those who desperately need it, playing hero to those who have none, while readying the masa for a fall they would never be able to get up from.

Yet we still believe in them.
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And I hate myself.

I hate my body- Weak, sickly, Frail. Time and time again, it has failed me when i needed it the most.

Yet i still abuse it.

I hate my weakness, my indecisiveness. Postponing the calling I have heard long before. Refusing to repay the country in kind for everything it has ever done for me. Failing to live a life that I swore would shine brightly in these dark times.

Yet I still live.
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I have no choice.

I must live my life knowing that all of these that i hate will be here to stay.

Only then can i look at these directly in the eye and challenge them, adjust to them or totally accept them.

But i will never complain about them again.

Okay, okay, we lost

Two days after that horrific event, i finally accept the fact.

We lost.
On an opening game.
And to Ateneo.
What can be worse?
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I mean we had everything going for us. And we still lost...

in the end Ateneo won...
...not because of talent,
nor experience,
nor style,
nor team spirit,
nor heart,
and not even because of luck...

Its because they have a damn cute courtside reporter!
Yeah baby!!! :D

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Totally Random thoughts

Warning: Mostly random nonsense
(as if the rest of the blog wasnt)
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Has it been that long?

It has been almost a month since I had a REAL workout. When i got to the gym today, everyone seemed pleasantly surprised to see me again. The reception girls, health bar girl, the trainers, the masseurs, the other gym members...

...In fact the only one that didnt seem happy to see me was that diabolic little weighing scale which, i could have sworn, cringed just as i was stepping on it.

Well, the feeling's mutual. I hate you too, you lying sonovabitch.

In any case, i kept up with my normal tradition of running six kilometers on the threadmill (okay, so i walked the last two) and the regimen of weights and crunches that made me really appreciate the steambath, the jacuzzi and of course...

...The Massage...

I cant imagine why i kept postponing it. All through the month my body has been demanding release from all the stress. Well, today i pampered myself.

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, compares with a great sports massage after a full-blown workout at the gym.

...except maybe a Thai Massage...

Ah yes, now that's what you call a massage.

Before I travelled to Thailand, some drinking budddies told me the story that a traditional thai massage was done by a naked masseur without using her hands (use your imagination.)

So the first time i got to Phuket, I eagerly went to the nearest massage place for The Thai Massage. Imagine my surprise when, while happily waiting for my sexy little masseur, a gigantic shadow entered the room. I realized in horror then that the impossibly huge girl that walked in would be my introduction to the REAL Thai massage.

Apparently, the REAL Thai massage involves the masseur forcing you into advanced Yoga positions against your will, and especially against your body's better judgement, using a time-tested combination of massages, acupuncture, kickboxing, brazilian ju-jitsu and a few body slams (the rumor was partly true-- she didnt use hands that much... it was more of the elbows, knees and feet that hit me.) Compounded with the fact that the one doing this to me was 250 pounds of pure muscle and did not understand a single word of english (especially "Please Stop!") and was happily popping joints and ligaments in places unpopped before, it was a truly memorable, albeit excruciating, experience.

For those who have wrestled with an enraged gorilla for an hour and emerged bent into a pretzel, you can relate to what it felt like. Nonetheless, after the massage and the sigh of relief that the gargantuan beast has left the vicinity, I realized that it really was very soothing and that i have never been so relaxed in my life.

So i had another one the next time i was in bangkok. Was better the second time around since i knew what i would expect (and the girl was smaller too). And for roughly 300 pesos an hour, it was definitely worth it.

Conclusion -- The REAL Thai Massage should never be confused with the Thai Massage (wink, wink)

trivia- be careful of Thai Massage (wink, wink). Some realize a bit too late (and with a horrible screaming noise in the background) that the masseur is not... a woman!

Not that im against Male Masseurs... Zatoichi is my favorite masseur, hands down...

It was Dumb Luck actually. Was passing by Makati Cinema square and saw a DVD with a title i couldnt recognize or even pronounce. So being the impulsive buyer that i was, i just bought it without any hesitation. Imagine my pleasant surprise that it was being shown in Cinemanila and getting rave reviews.

Anyway, Zatoichi is an uber-cool legendary blind wandering samurai posing as a masseur. The movie is about one of his exploits, and his blindingly fast sword techniques. A typical scene would have 5-15 would be assassins ganging up on an innocent looking blind guy... and in five minutes, there would be nothing left but blood and gore. Cool.

...speaking of Blood...

I was chatting with a friend of mine who selflessly donated blood recently (Hi Sarah!!!) While she was telling me about the wonders of donating blood, I shook my head in dismay. There are two main reasons why i would most likely never ever give blood in my life.

First of all, I have a great fear of needles (its Poke-aphobia or something like that) and I actually turn pale whenever theres an impending injection or extraction. And given my crappy luck that the person doing the gruntwork of stabbing me with the needle was usually an intern on training, it usually doesnt work out well.

The worst that happened to me was around six or seven attempts with the artery (or is it vein) a mile away from the stab wounds. I heard that the acceptable figure was eight before the patient kills the intern, so i guess my intern was lucky.

Anyway, the other reason is that donating my blood would probably do more harm than good to the donor. I mean, after looking through the stuff that goes through my system, im not that surprised as to why mosquitoes keep dying around me.

So there. I will never ever ever donate blood.

...Well, except maybe if the one doing it is a pretty, voluptous nurse in a skimpy white outfit like the ones rumored in The Asian Hospital... *drool*

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Blasts from the past





Just nostalgic :) PJ, Ken and I worked on these masterpieces back in college.. BEFORE starcraft was even marketed.

Damn, we should have joined Blizzard's creative team

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Another look at life

Check your hearts guys.

I just got the news that an officemate of mine's undergoing some serious heart checkups today. His hearts a tad enlarged and has been beating erratically. Hopefully, it'll just be a minor correction in a minor vein. Hopefully.

He's quite young and very active in sports. Stress has been the main factor.

We pray for his speedy recovery
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Back to me.


Stress, stress and more stress


At work, I technically belong to three divisions. One of these divisions deals with the most notoriously difficult customers and engages in the most devious competitors in the market. I cant exactly explain the stress level here... just that of my two other teammates, one is now in hospital for heart problems and the other recently resigned due to overstress.

Wonder what'll happen to me?

Cholesterol, Caffeine and More Cholesterol

Today's lunch consisted of chicharon bulaklak, crispy pata and sisig. Breakfast was coffee while dinner has almost always been pizza for the past few weeks.

Throw in the regular drinking sessions, my passion for desserts and the sudden lack of exercise and you'll have an idea of what my life expectancy is.

I am definitely, definitely dying young.

But then again, my greatest fear has always been growing old and losing all my hair.

Random thought out of nowhere:
I need to win a Palanca next year

Either that or be president by 30. I need a legacy before I die so i can be forever immortalized as that guy who could have been something.

Sheesh. These random thoughts are getting to be a little too random for me.

Monday, July 05, 2004

Soloflite's Chicken Soup for the Soul

I fell asleep last night at 6pm and woke up at 6am. I was in such a good mood today that i put off going to work til around 730. Beautiful, beautiful day.

And did i mention it was color coding* for The Jaguar?

*for those unfamiliar with the term, it relates to a stupid philippine law where your car, depending on your plate number, is banned from city driving one day every weekday. The next phase, which was to color the plate numbers for easier identification, never took off, but the name stuck.

Anyways, everything is good and even driving color-coding and evading pursuing MMDA has a deeper meaning into it.

Join me as i reminisce today's Lessons in Life.
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On my route to work, i always go by the sidestreets and roundabout routes to minimize the chances of being detected. Today, however, I felt it to be such a beautiful day that i proudly drove via Manila's busiest routes.

I almost didnt see an MMDA traffic enforcer hiding behind a potted plant as he tried to jump in front of me. Luckily, my reflexes were top notch after my long rest and i managed to get away from him.


Life's Lesson:
Go for the least-trodden path. The bastards will be watching the other one.

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At the busiest, and most MMDA infested intersection in my route, I was trailing behind a jeepney... which without warning, sped past a red light and left me suddenly in front of the intersection, open to the view of the evil traffic cops. So do i follow his example and risk arrest? or do i just stay there and... risk arrest?

Life's Lesson:
When you're following an asshole, be ready for the shit he's gonna put you in.

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Theres a cop in hot pursuit right behind me and i am tempted to just give up the chase. But then he'll keep asking me for bribes, stabbing repeatedly at my strong sense of morality until it would give in.

So i just step on the gas.


Life's Lesson
Flee from temptation. And make sure he doesnt catch you.

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I fly my way to EDSA and leave the irritating cop running far behind me. As I work my way within the yellow-lane bus territory, another MMDA flunkie spots me. As soon as he flags me down, the bus next to me swerves in a not-so-elegant way. And the MMDA has a new target :)

Life's Lesson
Bigger is not always better. Especially in traffic.


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Life is beautiful. I should have more of these leisurely drives to relax me.

Or just sleep more.