Misery Loves Our Country

*Warning: Intensely Racist Post

Schadenfreude- (shädn-froid)n. Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

Thats my favorite German word next to Ubermensche. Given the numerous wars in German history, especially the last one where they took too much pride in the Aryan race they wanted to kill off everyone else, Im not surprised they came up with ONE word to explain a feeling that we usually and very sheepishly grope for words to explain.

Actually, im more surprised it didn't come from us. The closest we have is in three words: "Buti nga sayo."

*roughly meaning "good for you" except that its usually said in a bitchy way after something unforeseen happens to you (like falling off a helicopter)

In this delightfully sick society of ours, where talangka is king, politicians stab each other in the back and noontime/reality shows just cant wait to show their contestant's booboos, its hard not to relate to the Germans.

The way I see it, it is part of our life, our culture and our heritage. We Filipino's should stand tall and look down with glee at the idiocities we deferred to everyone else...

We dont get killed in our highways, unlike the deadly Autobahn. We can just cross anytime we want and expect cars to screech to a halt when we walk by. EDSA, C5 or wherever.  It's so safe we dont even need pedestrian lights.

We dont get killed in Iraq, unlike our unfortunate Allies. We value the pinoy above all things, and you can be sure that the government will help you out when someone wants to chop your head off. At least, when you're not in the philippines.

We dont think we're ever alone. Theres always a relative somewhere within a hundred miles, or at least a kabayan you can treat as a brother wherever you go, or at least someone you can talk tagalog to while you bitch about someone behind his back :)

We dont have to pay an arm and a leg to own a car unlike some other countries i know. Well, maybe an arm OR a leg, but its much cheaper here to get a car than lets say... Singapore where after buying your first car, you'll realize in two years that it costs as much just to register

We dont have to walk as much as the typical First World Country. We have jeeps that stop at every home or building and tricycles that go anywhere from highways to sidestreets, rain or shine, flood or no flood.

We dont need a title to live like European Royalty. Well, not exactly royalty, but every typical middle-class family has 1 to 3 maids here and/or a 'boy'... and they can do more things than the typical Butler.

We dont need homes for the aged unlike some States i know.  I mean, as long as you have living relatives, you will always be cared for. We dont dump our old folks in communal retirement homes like in other First World societies.

We dont look like grizzled war veterans until we really are grizzled war veterans unlike some Caucasian races.  We're a naturally babyfaced and young-looking people.   Which is why facial cream doesnt sell that much here.

We dont care if we die young... unlike most civilizations in general. The more cholesterol, the better the pinoy meal. Sisig, kare kare, crispy pata, lechon... mmm... name it! Definitely a notch above indian veggie food.

We dont say eeeew in fear factor unlike some sissy white folks out there.  Blood Stew? Unborn Duck? Bayawak Sashimi? Cmon! We eat that stuff for breakfast. With beer.

We dont drink piss beer unlike our unfortunate Asian neighbors.  I mean, i tried Singapore's tiger beer and that other one from malaysia... ugh. Give me Redhorse or SanMig any day.

We dont need to sunbathe in the nude unlike the typical Caucasian woman (who gets skin cancer instead.) We just watch them ;)

We dont go around cavorting with ugly women... at least not like the typical white guys in Makati Avenue. We have taste.  Damn good taste.

We dont look like a bunch of other relatives out there unlike the Billions of Yellow, White and Black races. We have more variety in the way we look compared to our typical Asian neighbors like Singapore and China.  I mean, have you ever seen a full-blooded chinese that doesnt look chinese? We're probably the only race that have Filipinos that don't look Filipino.   We have it all--  Mestiza, tsinita, morena, eurasian.... name it!   The world is evolving into us, baby.

We dont take shit from no one. We are proud to be filipino, because it so much sucks not to be one.

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In other news, I just found out that I really do have a MiniMe...