Monday, January 03, 2005

A Schizophrenic New Year

Finally its over between me and the bitch.

Its been a helluva relationship: ups, downs, ups, and even more downs.

It started off great, all fired up and raring to go. The passion, the love, the excitement... everything was there. Then something happened.

The fun was soon replaced awkward situations and uncomfortable silences. The laughter died down. The love I had started to taper off... But I couldnt let go.

Well, last week it was finally over. 2004 just left my life with a whimper.

Yeah baby, Goodbye 2004!!!

Im glad to count you as an ex. Luckily, I found another year to replace you.


_________________________


Ebeneezer Grinch

Dearest Friend/Inaanak/Relative/Other Recipients,

In this season's spirit of giving, I have decided to donate your gift to the Typhoon Yoyong Victims of Real, Quezon.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

--Your loving Ninong/friend/relative/overall-good guy, Soloflite

PS: Dont cry. They need my used clothes more than you do.

_________________________

Soloflite, Male Gigolo

Im a person you can count on to keep my promises.
Well, at least most of the time.

A couple of years ago, my Grandfather made me promise to give him a grandchild before he died. Well, last month he did. And guess who ended up inadvertently going back on his word?

What? Me? kids? No thanks. Soloflite, Demented Babymaker and Patriarch Supreme doesnt quite sound right.

Too bad my gramps died earlier than expected though. I always planned on taking a wife and raising a family... but not, take note- this is important, not until I fully enjoyed my singlehood.

I mean, how many people do I know knocked up a waif when they were barely in their 20s and ended up marrying the poor girl and throwing away the rest of their lives supporting little drooling impish monsters, taking flak from firebreathing inlaws and worst of all, finding out that the "girl of their dreams" can become such a nasty nagging overweight hag?

Nope. Definitely not the life for me. I will postpone that nightmare for as long as possible.

Whereas girls have this biological timeclock slowly ticking away to remind them to get married before 28 or they risk losing the chance to have a baby, men like me are reminded again and again (by fellow men) that even at 40 we'd still be great-looking bastions of virility.

So while I'm happily frolicking with my single lifestyle at 35, some desperate, good-looking nubile 25-year old vixen will be craving for someone to father her baby.

Then, maybe, just maybe, I'll start thinking about having a family.

__________________________

Schumacker

I finally realized it. I cant pace myself: I either go full throttle or slow down to a complete stop. There IS no leisurely drive for me. There is no jogging, no relaxing swim. Im like a hummingbird: either constantly animated, or perpetually bored at how slow the world turns around me.

Theres something significantly important here... I'll think about it over the year.

13 comments:

transience said...

nyahahaha! while i loved bobbing my head to every sub-post here, i couldn't help but laugh at the third one. i, too, have realized the bane that is CHILDREN. i will not have them. i will not get married, either. i will probably coast along forever dating, forever misconstruing physical intimacy for the real connection.

wait...if my boyfriend is reading this: i am being held at gunpoint.

ennui said...

transience - and you'd probably wish it were a REAL gun he were pointing at you hehehe ;)

soloflite - there's just too many kids in this country and they mostly end up jologs! Aaaarrrgggghhhh

Tinggay said...

hi there, stumbled upon your blog a few days ago. I must say I tremendously enjoyed this last entry. About 10 rebuttals struck my mind as I read your post, thinking that hey, I'm one of those 25 year old women with their biological clocks ticking away! Hehehe :) I'm still in a relationship though, I highly suspect that the boyfriend has the same plans of sticking it out until he's 40. haha :)

ennui said...

Tinggay - how come women refer to their boyfriends with the article "the" instead of a possessive "my"? just a question Ü

Anonymous said...

By the time you're 35... I'm 30. Hmph.

I never liked the idea of marriage. I'd like to have kids though, if I get lucky.

Have a great 2005!

- Xenia Maria

solo flite said...

Why do I get the feeling that the female readers of my blog will soon ban my site from their significant others bookmarks? :) hehehe I need to taper down on this In Defense of the Typical Male Series :D

transcience: being held at gunpoint IS one of the main causes of pregnancy...
...Oh wait. You meant a real gun... Forget that last line :P

Ennui: Amen to that!

Tinggay: Haha :) Hope no offense was taken ;) People say my humor would tend to border on insulting already

Ennui (again): Women refer to their boyfriends as THE BF because it means there is only ONE, but it does not, in any way, imply their lack of possessiveness.

I will elaborate no further. ;)

Xenia: Hehe :P You wont need luck to have kids, trust me ;)

Sapphire Dreams said...

"I mean, how many people do I know knocked up a waif when they were barely in their 20s and ended up marrying the poor girl and throwing away the rest of their lives supporting little drooling impish monsters, taking flak from firebreathing inlaws and worst of all, finding out that the "girl of their dreams" can become such a nasty nagging overweight hag?"

-- Hmmm, sounds like my father, except they separated before she became a nasty nagging overweight hag. :P

transience said...

solo >> bwahahaha! it could have been a real gun or a quintessential one. depends on how you look at it. ah, perspective. how greatly we screw up because of you...

ennui said...

soloflite - thanks for THE clarification. hehehe

banzai cat said...

I just love the way you get the female species eating out of your hand, man. (Especially after such incendiary posts like above.) ;-)

Tinggay said...

ennui: it's just now that i got back to reading the comments. And to answer your question why most women narrate things about their other halves as "the boyfriend" and not "my boyfriend" is because....ewan! Honestly, i have NO idea. It kind of makes me feel comfortable, and at the same time more "detached" in a weird way if I describe it online to other people. I don't know why...ayos na tanong yun a! napag isip ako...

Anonymous said...

Yeah baby, Goodbye 2004!!!

Im glad to count you as an ex. Luckily, I found another year to replace you.
amen!!! hope I have the same optimism as you.. :D


http://psych0sis.pansitan.net

Jac said...

25 yr old... nah, ayoko kids. My nephew/godkid mikko is enough for me ;) less upkeep nyahahaha!