Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Austin Pickuplines... (soon to be soloflite pickup lines hehe)

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)....Let's get you out of these wet clothes. (Useful, useful...hehehe)

3. Nice legs...what time do they open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? (Must try this one out sometime...)

7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. (this too)

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on Earth tonight.

9. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could rideyou all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag. (...or "It said PRESS!")

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. (Im not even sure if this is a pickup line!)

15. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

16. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. (Good point. Girls like frankness sometimes...)

18. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

19. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

20. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

21. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

22. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public. (Man, this would really sweep her off her feet)

23. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

24. Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.

18 comments:

{illyria} said...

put this list together with my "stay the fuck away from my breasts" list, we'd have world war 24. in a good way.

Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha. pwede magmura sa tuwa, sa inis, at sa "yes, those are good pick-up lines."

ensheathe said...

LOL! that cracked me up so much, my supervisor thought i was chatting while working! hahaha those are good pick up lines, if only pinoy guys would have the guts to use them. ;p

Anonymous said...

sige nga. let me know if it works. ;-)

- litol figgy - said...

sometimes i wonder tho if anyone has actually used any of these lines and succeeded...

Anonymous said...

haha! suddenly i'm glad i'm a girl... i get to watch guys fall all over themselves trying these out.

a little bitchslappin' is good for one's health.

Ramon said...

Ayus ka pare koy! Lagay ka pa!

tinamaldita said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
tinamaldita said...

Even after dealing with a certain sleezeball from work (read my latest post), I still found this post super funny. Missed visiting your blog, my dear :)

Anonymous said...

i have missed your writing man, i'd love to see guys try this out and make total asses of themselves. lols

wytchgurl

Anonymous said...

i have missed your writing man, i'd love to see guys try this out and make total asses of themselves. lols

wytchgurl

bella said...

i have missed your writing man, i'd love to see guys try this out and make total asses of themselves. lols

wytchgurl

bella said...

by the way, what happened to your tag-board?

Jillsabs said...

well someone's obviously been taking down notes in an austin powers movie :)

if someone tried such lines on me, i'd probably laugh my head off :) hey, they might work then! :p

paningit said...

uhm, what's a pickup line?

B said...

haha! really funny. i wonder if any of these lines would actually work. will ask my guy friends to try. haha!!!

B said...

haha! really funny. i wonder if any of these lines would actually work. will ask my guy friends to try. haha!!!

Anonymous said...

I think lots of pick up lines fail because of lack of thought and sincerity.

Put the conversation into context. I mean, don't just come on with pickup lines na wala sa lugar. Place and time of day are factors in her receptiveness. Cold and cozy places are more conducive to romance.

Size up your chances. Look at yourself, then look at her. Sino lugi? Kung lugi siya, no strategy can really help you. I am not being mean but am working with probabilities.

Strike up a conversation. This is where skill is needed. You must not appear nervous. It must come very natural and sincere. Something like "miss...nasaan ang bugaw mo?"