Merrily I Go Along

Once in a while you just wake up, look around and suddenly feel like everythings just so wrong. Its a weird feeling--slowly tugging at your soul telling you that somehow you dont belong here in this world. That somehow you're acting out some else's life. Living out someone else's dream.

You realize that this time its not a question of whether the cup is half full or empty anymore. Its whether you heed life's writing on the wall or take up the challenge and pick up the gauntlet that the same hand threw down after writing.

Its like walking around lost, confused and alone, looking back from time to time wondering if the lesser-trod path was really the right choice. That maybe, just maybe, there might have been another lane you could have taken. That maybe the last crossroad you just ran by could've taken you to a better place.

Once in a while you just wake up, look around and realize that you never really did live your dream. That you failed to save the world from the evils you swore against, or screwed up in making the difference that would have been your legacy.

That you're living your life not as you really want to. Not swimming against the deadly currents or even braving the stormy weather. Just staying afloat and paddling enough to survive.

That somehow nothing no longer stokes the flames that were once burning fiercely in your belly. Nothing no longer puts the gleam back in your eyes. That somehow, this nothingness that you feel has finally replaced the fullness of life you once had.

Once in a while you just wake up and realize that you no longer have a dream. You wake up and realize that you're living no life, fighting for no crusade, dying for no cause.

Come to think of it, theres not even a torch to pass on, nor an apprentice to continue the craft. You got the world on your shoulders, not knowing if you can even put it down. Was life really meant to be like this? You start to doubt that maybe, just maybe, this life you chose wasn't the one you were supposed to live.

And yet, despite this, you go on: Not caring whether you live or die, whether you win or lose. Not caring if you're going where you ought to go, no matter bleak or gloomy. No matter how lonely. Dispassionately, you try to find out what life has in store for you and throw everything into looking for a dream that you think you ought to have.

Once in a while you just wake up from your dreamless state. And sigh.

Its really all about the money.

A Schizophrenic New Year

Finally its over between me and the bitch.

Its been a helluva relationship: ups, downs, ups, and even more downs.

It started off great, all fired up and raring to go. The passion, the love, the excitement... everything was there. Then something happened.

The fun was soon replaced awkward situations and uncomfortable silences. The laughter died down. The love I had started to taper off... But I couldnt let go.

Well, last week it was finally over. 2004 just left my life with a whimper.

Yeah baby, Goodbye 2004!!!

Im glad to count you as an ex. Luckily, I found another year to replace you.

_________________________


Ebeneezer Grinch

Dearest Friend/Inaanak/Relative/Other Recipients,

In this season's spirit of giving, I have decided to donate your gift to the Typhoon Yoyong Victims of Real, Quezon.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

--Your loving Ninong/friend/relative/overall-good guy, Soloflite

PS: Dont cry. They need my used clothes more than you do.

_________________________

Soloflite, Male Gigolo

Im a person you can count on to keep my promises.
Well, at least most of the time.

A couple of years ago, my Grandfather made me promise to give him a grandchild before he died. Well, last month he did. And guess who ended up inadvertently going back on his word?

What? Me? kids? No thanks. Soloflite, Demented Babymaker and Patriarch Supreme doesnt quite sound right.

Too bad my gramps died earlier than expected though. I always planned on taking a wife and raising a family... but not, take note- this is important, not until I fully enjoyed my singlehood.

I mean, how many people do I know knocked up a waif when they were barely in their 20s and ended up marrying the poor girl and throwing away the rest of their lives supporting little drooling impish monsters, taking flak from firebreathing inlaws and worst of all, finding out that the "girl of their dreams" can become such a nasty nagging overweight hag?

Nope. Definitely not the life for me. I will postpone that nightmare for as long as possible.

Whereas girls have this biological timeclock slowly ticking away to remind them to get married before 28 or they risk losing the chance to have a baby, men like me are reminded again and again (by fellow men) that even at 40 we'd still be great-looking bastions of virility.

So while I'm happily frolicking with my single lifestyle at 35, some desperate, good-looking nubile 25-year old vixen will be craving for someone to father her baby.

Then, maybe, just maybe, I'll start thinking about having a family.

__________________________

Schumacker

I finally realized it. I cant pace myself: I either go full throttle or slow down to a complete stop. There IS no leisurely drive for me. There is no jogging, no relaxing swim. Im like a hummingbird: either constantly animated, or perpetually bored at how slow the world turns around me.

Theres something significantly important here... I'll think about it over the year.

Once in a while...

...I do a cameo :)

An inconspicuous-looking SoloFlite at the retro-themed company party last friday(before he met up with ever-dependable partner-in-crime Jose Cuervo to bring laughter and merriment to all...)

________________________

Geez. I think I gained 10 pounds in 3 days! The past weekend has seen me eating and drinking uber-cholesterol/sugar/alcohol laden food and drinks. Damn these parties!

I had (mainly) lechon for lunch and dinner since saturday. And today, being sick of stuffing up all that fat down my arteries...

I went for the healthier option: SeaFood...

Though I dont think enough vitamins, minerals, anti-carcinogens and immuno-enhancers can be supplied by Alige ng Chili Crab... :)

Damn. I think my life expectancy has just been reduced by another year..

Google on Solo

swiped from Sarah's site.
_____________________

What does Google say about soloflite?

I highlighted the stuff that applies to me. The rest... oh well, you decide.

solo is still the norm
solo is one of 13 hermann trophy candidates
solo is famous for the two kraton
solo is now espresso
solo is a treasure (I like this site)
solo is enough (Yeah baby!)
solo is sensational in goal as us
solo is refueled in
solo is login
solo is not kid's stuff to a mom
solo is one of 13 hermann trophy candidates husky junior nominated for "heisman trophy" of soccer
solo is a home
solo is famous for the two kraton's
solo is now espresso and we wanna be on some hi fi stations huh
solo is intended for use within third
solo is a treasure wilco frontman rocks
solo is the best (Amen!!)
solo is a next
solo is we are now offering the solo is
solo is mit dem solo is bieten wir ihnen eine online (I think this is german for "Solo is drop-dead-gorgeous so meet him online")
solo is lying across in fertile plain terrain along the longest river in java (Damn. They got that picture of me sprawled over in drunken contentment??)
solo is a clean sheet
solo is all about taking risks (Nuff said)
solo is sensational in goal as us women take gold medal (I have a knack for this stuff)
solo is refueled by kc
solo is cool (I know, I know...)
solo is the most advanced pdf extraction tool available
solo is compliant with microsoft's sapi 5
solo is ideal for a wide range of applications where quality is essential and where the device supports the memory required (I think this was in my resume)
solo is gone
solo is the son of pik könig
solo is your own personal ski machine
solo is perfect for family fun (That doesnt sound quite right...)
solo is a remote
solo is a small
solo is the only way to go with 216
solo is functioning properly (At least... last i chceked)
solo is the air supply that is compact
solo is frame
solo is returning to rmi
solo is avantgarde's first fully active dual
solo is part bird (Nah. I just look like Richard Gutierrez)
solo is one of the best combinations of strength
solo is expressly designed to make a big impression at a very small price
solo is sporting canoeing on rivers and white
solo is an acoustical wood plank product consisting of a perforated medium density fiberboard
solo is ideal for diy paper research
solo is one note
solo is a year old today
solo is cited as a major force in the development of wilderness medicine in the journal of wilderness medicine's article by warren bowmann (Thank you warren... I swear, I could never have done it without you...)
solo is an ezine written by and for the small business
solo is an ideal solution offering low cost and high performance (Doesnt this sound a bit sleazy to you?)
solo is subject to certain minimum requirements and limitations which are listed below
solo is available to buy on line through our secure shop (Ack! More sleazy stuff)
solo is a purely social organization open to unattached lesbians who are comfortable hanging around with other women in the 40+ age bracket (OKKkaaaaaay. THIS is definitely the sleaziest.)
solo is produced in the traditions of good danish craftsmanship and with a simple
solo is here
solo is compatible met alle gangbare systemen
solo is a folding kayak with truly distinctinve eskimo sea kayak design
solo is one of the most advanced pdf extraction tool available
solo is the new legal time accounting system from opsis specifically designed for sole practitioners
solo is supplied in either a hand
solo is updated
solo is moody and slow and stays in the lower register (For whatever that means...)
solo is located in the province of jawa tengah
solo is important musically because they represent an era that has been forgotten
solo is a perfect example of clifford brown and the many characteristics that mark his style
solo is very strange (Nah... You just caught me on a bad hairday...)
solo is a bit fancier
solo is built
solo is a powerful and transparent desktop encryption solution that will automatically encrypt saved information on pc’s and laptops
solo is an ideal training tool for individuals looking to improve their fitness (yes. just give me a bullwhip and start running on the threadmill)
solo is having a hard day (which is why i picked on this crazy list)
solo is a tricky single note riff and the solo itself is brimming with energy (Sounds just right)
solo is desktop software primarily for users that do not require a
solo is available in a choice of lengths at either 8
solo is the perfect soldier (Which reminds me... Airsoft anyone? )
solo is a cost
solo is a fully rigged schooner
solo is ideal for areas where two speakers are not necessary yet high quality stereo is still desired
solo is our most economical model (At last... someone realizes im model material! Oh... wait...)
solo is more of a concert
solo is the right system
solo is a new addition to the blanik family of two
solo is our most economical hard drive duplicator
solo is used on this page to distinguish this game from various other games called solo
solo is a full personnel placement workflow system for solo recruiters or partnerships
solo is featured in his endor gear outfit and includes a blaster pistol (Wooohoo!! My own action figure!!! Oh wait... Endor gear? What? Im an ewok with a blaster pistol??!)

Totally Random Thoughts

Pardon the incoherent thoughts. Been through a lot lately.
___________________

While playing billiards, I realized that I tend to miss the easiest of shots but have a knack for getting the "miracle shots" in. Geez. Is that a curse or what?

Does this mean that deep inside, I really want complicate my life?
___________________

My best writings are always unexpected, unplanned and always, always uncalled for. Give me a deadline, I'll miss it. Give me a topic, I'll stray away from it. Give me an outline, I'll bastardize the damn thing.

I guess Im never gonna be a REAL writer. So i'll just do it for fun :)
___________________

Talked with a fellow blogger the other night. He's a minor celebrity in some spheres, and thus has a number of grudging admirers. And they tend to flame him for the most minor of things.

Like one time he posted about how he could have used his rent money instead for a downpayment for a new car. His comments were like "You deserve to die cocksucker! ...blah blah... dont talk that way about money like we arent in a 3rd world country... blah blah"

God, Im thankful for my, now i realize this, more docile and appreciative readership. The worst I got was death threats from the PMS mafia from this post.
___________________

In a sick sense of a way, I like the storm Yoyong. His gatecrashing served as a great wakeup call for all of us to rethink what the hell we've been doing all this time.
___________________

Pacman chewed up Fahsan. Definitely cannonfodder.
___________________

I think I'll get myself a Sony Ericsson K700 for christmas (more like, will ask SMART to give it to me for free hehe).

Damn. I just reminded myself of Christmas shopping.

Bah humbug.
___________________

Got home at 5am after partying at V-bar. Woke up at 3pm with a helluva headache.

Months ago, I would have woke up at 7 with no hangover whatsoever. My resistance to gimmick and alcohol is really going down. This is bad.
___________________

My wisdom tooth has a cavity. It scrapes my jaw from time to time. And its located at the back of my mouth so no dentist wants to do a decent root canal or filling for it. Looks like I have to have it extracted or just live with the constant pain.

Damn, and with me allergic to Alaxan.
___________________

Visited a friend earlier.

His 6-year old special child is confined right now for cancer and it looks really bad. The doctors say they could have prevented it if it was diagnosed earlier, but being autistic, the poor kid had no way of telling his parents how much pain he was in. He would just cry all alone until one day the parents were concerned because he couldnt even walk anymore. It was only then, after a battery of tests that they found out he had a mass the size of a DUMB BELL (yes. that big) in his abdomen.

Pls include him in your prayers. He'll really need a miracle.